


Talk Dirty To Me

by thatsoulforyouisinme



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-07
Updated: 2013-06-07
Packaged: 2017-12-14 05:08:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 26,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/833094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatsoulforyouisinme/pseuds/thatsoulforyouisinme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One afternoon at the Lima Bean, Sebastian starts to speak to Kurt to French when Blaine gets up for a coffee refill. Kurt expects to hear insults, but instead Sebastian confesses things that blow Kurt's mind. When Blaine returns, he accidentally reveals that Kurt is fluent in French and Kurt's deception sparks a chain of events that changes everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Wow. So, I've been working on this fic for over a year. For real. A prompt on the kink meme (see end of the chapter for a caught my eye, and I couldn't stop thinking about it, couldnt stop editing it till now. I'm so excited to share this with everyone finally, and I really hope you all enjoy it!! If you spot a typo or something, please let me know! Beta'd by bononoh and xxxraquelita--without them this story would be nothing!!

Blaine slurped at the remnants of his coffee and Kurt wrinkled his nose in faux-disgust. “You’re so ill-mannered, Mr. Anderson,” he teased.

Blaine grinned and stuck out his tongue. “Maybe I’ll go get another one.”

Kurt was about to reply, but an all too familiar voice interrupted them.

“Well, hello boys. Fancy seeing you here.” Sebastian grabbed a chair sat down between them, which Kurt thought was incredibly rude.

“God, do you  _live_ here?” Kurt demanded, annoyed.

“Aww, come on, Kurt, don’t be like that. Sebastian is just saying hello.”  Blaine’s gaze was pleading, his puppy dog eyes begging Kurt to be nice. For whatever reason, Blaine thought that slimeball was his friend.Kurt wasn’t going to be  _that_ boyfriend, so he hadn’t said much about Blaine’s friendship with that… _slut._   Kurt didn’t like to judge, but when it came to Warblers that looked at his boyfriend like he was a piece of meat, Kurt had no tolerance. In spite of the fact that Kurt knew beyond any doubt that Blaine wasn’t interested in Sebastian, he couldn’t bring himself to like the guy.

“Yeah, Kurt,” Sebastian echoed, green eyes glinting in triumph as he smiled.  “Don’t be like that. I just wanted to catch up with you two. Fellow Warblers and all.”

Kurt rolled his eyes—they’d never been Warblers together—and watched with a raised eyebrow as Sebastian proceeded to catch Blaine up on all the latest Warbler drama. None of this was addressed to Kurt, of course. It had to be done on purpose—Sebastian kept shooting him these weird looks when Blaine wasn’t looking. It was so…rude. Grudgingly, Kurt had to appreciate his audacity. Again, that didn’t mean he had to like it or sit idly by and allow Sebastian to see that his attempts to rile Kurt up were entirely successful. Kurt calmly pulled out his phone, checking his facebook and text messages. He nodded when Blaine went to get a refill and groaned when he looked up and saw that the line was insanely long again. He was stuck here with Sebastianfor a good ten minutes. Kurt felt eyes on him but refused to look up.

“What?” he snapped, not even looking up from his phone. Maybe they could have another one of their quick back and forths and Sebastian would feel like he’d done his job or whatever and stop  _looking_ at Kurt.

Sebastian sounded like he was smiling a little as he said, “ _Nevermind_ ,” in French. Kurt was surprised, but kept his shock to himself, curious as to what Sebastian was up to.

He figured that Sebastian was under the impression that Kurt didn’t know any French, that Sebastian was the only one cultured enough to be fluent. He gave Sebastian his best confused look and put his head back down.  He wondered what stupid and insulting thing Sebastian would say now, probably something about how Kurt wasn’t man enough for Blaine, how Sebastian would be better, how he couldn’t stand Kurt’s gay-face (was there a French word for that?).

Instead, he heard this.

_“He’s not worthy of you.”_

That was….completely and totally the opposite of what Kurt had expected. Maybe Sebastian’s French was rusty?

_“You’re the one I want. I thought it was Blaine I wanted, but the moment I laid eyes on you, he was nothing. You’re so fucking hot I can barely stand it. You drive me crazy.”_

It took everything Kurt had not to blush or freak out and he honestly had no idea how he managed it. Maybe he should stop Sebastian, maybe this wasn’t fun and games anymore. But….part of him wanted to know how much further Sebastian was going to carry this. Blaine told Kurt he was gorgeous all the time, and he knew Blaine wanted more with him, but they just hadn’t got there yet. They talked a lot about waiting to be ready, but…Kurt was a seventeen year old boy who was in a relationship with a boy he trusted and adored. He was definitely ready. But there wasn’t any… _urgency._ Blaine made him feel safe, loved, happy, but never hot under the collar the way Sebastian was with just a few scandalous words. Even so, Kurt couldn’t ethically let this continue. So, he took a deep breath and said, “You’re probably saying something really mean, aren’t you?”

His voice sounded totally innocent, and if it weren’t for the fact that he was doing something incredibly stupid by not calling Sebastian out on his inappropriate behavior, Kurt would be proud of his acting skills.

Sebastian chuckled and Kurt fake-glared, keeping up the charade of annoyance even though he was anything but at the moment.

_“I make fun of what you wear because the way those tight jeans cling to your ass kills me. The last time I saw you, you were wearing leather, Kurt. Fucking leather. You know what I did?”_

Kurt held himself perfectly still, not even breathing as he waited, hands sweating as he tried to pretend he wasn’t completely and totally enthralled.

_“I went straight home and got off so fucking hard.  Your body is fucking insane.”_

Kurt bit the inside of his cheek hard—he was trying his very best to make no outward sign of the way he felt, but he could feel a hot blush climbing across his cheeks and hoped that Sebastian wasn’t catching on to him. His hands were shaky as he continued to pretend he was texting someone.

_“I want to lick every single inch of you until you’re hard and aching for me. Fuck, every time I see you I just want to fall to my knees and see how much of that big beautiful cock I can take down my throat. I bet Blaine couldn’t do that if he tried, if he wanted.”_

Kurt sucked in a gasp and a hot rush of arousal ran through him as he suddenly  _envisioned_ himself standing, Sebastian on his knees, green eyes sparkling with lust as his lips stretched tight around Kurt’s cock while he bobbed up and down enthusiastically. He looked up to where Sebastian had tilted his head and was looking at him oddly.

“What?” Kurt blurted, trying his best to keep up the act.  He was glad they were sitting down—he could feel himself starting to get hard, and although he knew why, he hated the fact that it was Sebastian that was making him feel this way.

“ _For a minute I thought you understood me. God, I wish you knew what I was saying. I want to make you scream, want to feel you come around me while I fuck_   _you until you can’t remember your name anymore.”_

Kurt was caught, frozen, unable to pretend that he wasn’t paying attention anymore. He should really say something, anything. He looked up and opened his mouth, wanting to say something but not knowing what. He’d already lied, and didn’t know how to get out of it now.  He wet his dry lips, trying to buy himself some time.

Sebastian made a noise, something between a sigh and a groan. “ _God, your mouth…I want you so fucking bad._ ”

Kurt really had to stop him. It had gone way too far, it was too  _hot_ and it shouldn’t be hot because he completely and totally disliked Sebastian. He should be annoyed and offended, not so hard he was about to burst out of his jeans. He shouldn’t have lied, he should have told Sebastian he understood French. This had to stop. Right now. 

“Sebastian…” Kurt started softly, still struggling for the right words to say.

“Hey, guys!” Blaine said brightly, sitting back down and taking a sip of his coffee. “I’m glad you’re finding things in common!”

“What?” Sebastian snapped, his eyes shooting straight to Kurt’s guilty, red face.

“French,” Blaine said happily, looking back and forth between them. “That’s what you were speaking in, right? Kurt’s fluent, too. Totally unique thing for Ohio, right?”

Sebastian’s mouth tightened, and Kurt looked down in shame. He knew he was in trouble, and the only good thing about this situation was that Sebastian wasn’t likely to mention it to Blaine.

They each said little as Blaine essentially carried the conversation for them, but the way that Sebastian was staring at him, eyes narrowed thoughtfully, told Kurt everything he needed to know.

This wasn’t over.


	2. Chapter 2

Kurt walked from his car to the front door of The Lima Bean, humming happily as he thought about the relatively free afternoon he had ahead of him. Blaine was off working out with the glee guys and Kurt didn’t have much homework. What he did have shouldn’t take him long, especially not with a large nonfat mocha in his hand. Kurt paid for his drink and went to find a table in the corner, pulling out his calculus homework and arranging all his supplies on the table. He plugged in his headphones, turned up his music maybe just a little too loudly, and got to work. Things were going well—he was nearly done with the first set of problems—when a hard bump to his shoulder jolted him out of his study zone. He looked up, startled, and his heart skipped a beat.

Because Sebastian was standing there, grinning down at him.

_Shit._

Kurt ripped out his headphones, his breath coming faster as he tried not to panic and scrambled for something to say.. “What are you doing here?” he demanded. Internally, he winced—there were probably better words he could have said, but anger was better than showing how utterly embarrassed he was by this situation.

Sebastian rose an eyebrow. “Last time I checked this was a free country where coffee shops were open to everyone. Sheathe your claws, kitty cat.”

Kurt bristled at the nickname. Part of him was annoyed because  _what the hell? ?_ But a far larger part of him was annoyed at the way that he found the way Sebastian said that stupid nickname very,  _very_ arousing.  Outwardly, he settled for a raised eyebrow. “Well, what do you want?”

Sebastian sat down and Kurt scoffed because  _really?_ He wanted to  _talk_ after what happened?

“ _You lied to me, Kurt. Why? ”_ he asked slipping seamlessly into French, not seeming upset at all.

Kurt was confused—shouldn’t Sebastian be embarrassed or angry? “ _I’m sorry. I should have said something, but…”_  

_“But  you didn’t. Why not?”_

“Uh…” Kurt looked down, totally unsure of what to say.

_“Tell me.”_

Kurt looked away, unable to bring himself to admit the truth, partially because he was ashamed of his dishonesty and how long he’d let Sebastian talk to him that way. There was also the fact that Sebastian was gloating enough as it was and Kurt didn’t want to give the smug bastard the satisfaction of having his suspicions confirmed.

 _“Fine,”_ Sebastian murmured. “ _Don’t tell me. But we both know why.”_ The corners of his mouth turned up into a wicked smile.

Kurt opened his mouth to deny it, but it was pointless. Instead, he said, “ _It doesn’t mean anything.”_

Sebastian leaned forward, still smiling. “I don’t believe you.”

Kurt hated the way his breath hitched as Sebastian moved ever closer. “I”m with Blaine.” Kurt swallowed hard.  “I’d never cheat on him.”

“I know,” Sebastian said. “You’re loyal, and kind. It’s one of the many things I like about you.”

Kurt tilted his head to the side. “You  _like_ things about me?” he said incredulously. “I thought…I thought you hated me.”

Sebastian shook his head. “I just like to rile you up. And I meant what I said—I thought I wanted Blaine, but the second I met you, it was like he wasn’t even there.”

“And why’s that? Blaine’s usually the one everyone wants.” Kurt knew that he should be walking away, that this conversation shouldn’t even be happening, that asking that question was the last thing he was supposed to have said. Clearly something about Sebastian killed his common sense,  but he  _needed_ to know why.

Sebastian shrugged. “You’re just…different. I’ve honestly never met anyone like you. You’re…a challenge.”

Kurt’s eyes narrowed. “So that’s what this is about? You want to make me another notch in your bedpost?” he hissed, already shoving his things back into his bag. For a minute he’d thought Sebastian was showing another side of himself, a side that Kurt might have been more than a little intrigued by. But no, there he went, proving that he wasn’t after anything but sex. Maybe his flyaway thought from the other day had some substance, maybe Sebastian was just…a complete and total skank, just like he’d always thought. Maybe all his nice words, words that Kurt secretly wanted to hear, were just lies designed to get Kurt in his bed. Well, it wasn’t going to happen.

“Hey, don’t go,” Sebastian said earnestly. “That came out wrong.”

“No, I don’t think so. I think it came out exactly like you wanted it to,” Kurt said angrily, standing up and walking out of the coffee shop. He was surprised when he heard Sebastian’s footsteps pounding the pavement after him and almost wanted to stop and turn around, but he kept walking.

“Kurt!” Sebastian yelled.

Kurt really,  _really_ didn’t want to talk to him, but he also didn’t want to make a scene in the parking lot. He turned around. “What? You have two minutes,” he ground out.

Sebastian took a deep breath. “Really, I didn’t mean it like that. I just mean, you’re just…you’re not like anyone I’ve ever met.  You fascinate me. That’s all.”

Kurt tilted his head thoughtfully. “That’s  _all?_ I seem to remember you saying a ton of really,  _really_ dirty things to me in French last week. I don’t think that’s all you want—don’t pretend like you just want to ‘figure me out,’ whatever that means.”

Sebastian shrugged. “Well, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want you.”

“Well, I’m not interested!” Kurt snapped, angry because it was half a lie. “I’m with Blaine. He’s a million things you could never be—sweet, kind, a good listener. And, most importantly, he’s not always trying to jump me. So leave me and my boyfriend alone.”

Sebastian put his hands up. “Whoa there, killer, no need to attack. I wasn’t saying I was gonna try to mess anything up between you two, even if…” He trailed off, and Kurt swore he thought he saw a flash of guilt in his eyes.

Kurt arched an eyebrow, unsure as to why he was indulging Sebastian far past the two minutes he’d intended to allow for this conversation.  “Even if  _what_?”

“This is probably overstepping—”

Kurt rolled his eyes and interrupted  him. “That has never stopped you before. Out with it already—I have far better things to do than bother with the likes of you.”

Something flashed in Sebastian’s eyes and Kurt wondered if, for once, he’d gone too far.

“I just…you and Blaine? I see best friends, and nothing else. And what’s worse is that I think you know that just as well as I do.”

Kurt froze. “Yeah, you were overstepping. This conversation is officially over,” he said icily, turning away without a goodbye and walking quickly to his car.

It wasn’t until he was halfway home that he realized that the reason he was so angry about the exchange in the parking lot was because there was a hint of truth under Sebastian’s words. 

 

* * *

 

“Blaine…do you think we’re boring?” Kurt asked as he lay on Blaine’s bed, watching his boyfriend dance around the room.

Blaine stopped dancing and looked up at him curiously. “No…do you?”

Kurt stiffened. “It’s just…your parents are gone, and…I mean most people would have, you know…been doing… _things_  by now.” He blushed.

“Whoa,” Blaine breathed, coming over to sit next to Kurt on the bed. “Where’s all this coming from?

Kurt shrugged. “I just…don’t you ever just want to…rip all of our clothes off and just…” he trailed off, unable to say more than he already had.

“Well, yeah,” Blaine said, his voice going deep in that way that had always made Kurt’s stomach flip. It didn’t now, not in the same way. “But, you know, that’s why they invented masturbation.”

Kurt flushed. He couldn’t believe Blaine had just  _said_ that, so baldly, like it was nothing. “Uhm. I mean. Yeah, but…why exactly is it that we haven’t…you know, granted our hands visas south of the equator?”

Blaine tilted his head. “I thought we were taking it slow because we wanted to?”

“Yeah, but…I don’t know. I…you know what, never mind.”

“Hey, no, don’t do that,” Blaine said earnestly, touching Kurt’s shoulder. “You have to tell me what you want if we’re going to work this out.”

“We have  _scheduled_ make out sessions, Blaine!” Kurt burst out. “Don’t you think that’s a little strange?”

Blaine shrugged. “We have busy schedules, and we kind of have to sneak around our parents because they’re nosy and we’re teenagers, you know?”

“Yeah,” Kurt murmured. “You’re right.”

“Kurt…”

Kurt flopped back onto the bed. “Everything’s fine, Blaine, really.”

Blaine fell down next to him. “I don’t believe you,” he said softly, turning to his side so that he was looking down at Kurt. “Do you  _want_ to do more?”

Kurt froze, then nodded. They stared at each other for a moment, then Blaine moved down, eyes closing as he pressed his lips to Kurt’s.

Kurt kissed him back, but it didn’t feel the same as it had before. It was nice because they were both really good kissers, but…he couldn’t help compare it to the promises Sebastian had made in French a few weeks ago. Blaine’s hand pressed against his knee, sliding slowly up towards his thigh, kneading and pressing. Kurt tensed up when he got too close and Blaine pulled away, resting his forehead on Kurt’s.

“Are you okay?” Blaine asked.

“Yeah, I just…you were right. We’re taking it slow. It’s fine. I guess I’m not really ready.”

Blaine moved away from him, the look in his eyes telling Kurt that he knew something was still wrong.

Kurt sat up and suggested that they watch a movie. Secretly, Kurt just didn’t want to do anything that involved talking or thinking because he’d have to think about how if Sebastian had been kissing him, sliding his hand up his thigh, Kurt might have let him continue. Kurt would have wanted him to. It wouldn’t have felt so strange.

* * *

 

Kurt still felt weird about what had happened as he turned on the taps and began rooting around in his bathroom cabinet for his bath salts. He usually didn’t indulge in baths, but he was feeling tense from what had happened with Blaine earlier and wanted to relax. He tried not to think about any of it as he soaked in the water, luxuriating in its warmth until it got too cold for him to stay. Kurt pulled himself out of the tub and toweled off quickly, reaching for his body cream and rubbing it into his skin, making sure he didn’t miss a single inch. People were always complimenting him on his glowing skin, and that didn’t come without a certain level of vigilance and effort. Kurt went on autopilot as he finished up his skin care routine. Once he was done, he took a deep breath, feeling a little more relaxed, and slid into a plush bathrobe. Life felt a little better now that he’d pampered himself a bit.

He walked to the bed and looked at the alarm clock.  _Damn._ It was nearly 11:30 and he had to get up early to work on a number for glee with Rachel before school. Kurt sighed and walked to his closet, spending a considerable amount of time (as usual) choosing a decidedly fabulous outfit for school. Once that was done, he made sure everything was in his backpack, and that all of his alarms were set—he kind of had trouble getting up in the morning and always had to set multiple alarms in multiple locations to have enough time to get up, look good, eat breakfast,  _and_ get to school on time.

Finally, he hung his robe back up on its hook in the bathroom and padded out to his dresser naked, rooting around for a pair of pajamas. He was still over-warm from the bath and didn’t want to wear one of this matching sets.  He stepped one of the few pairs of boxers he still owned and one of his old t-shirts from gym. He turned out the light and fell onto the bed, reaching for his phone. There were a number of missed messages from Blaine, and Kurt’s stomach jumped. He’d kind of put his phone down and forgotten about it, and he was nervous as he slid his thumb over the screen and entered his passcode.

_6:17: Hey, Kurt. Are you okay? Things were kind of weird earlier…_

_6:49: Kurt?_

_7: 27: Are you mad at me? Is that why you’re ignoring me?_

_8:35: Please talk to me, or at least let me know if you’re okay?_

_9:31: I’m sorry if I offended you or moved too fast, i just…it sounded like you wanted more?_

_9:45: Please tell me what I did wrong?_

_10:15 : Again…I’m sorry. I guess…I hope I’ll see you at school tomorrow.  I love you._

Kurt frowned at the screen, feeling kind of terrible about having left his phone unattended for so long. He was usually pretty quick about replying to Blaine, so he knew his boyfriend must have been so,  _so_ worried. It was over an hour after the last message, but Kurt couldn’t let Blaine go all night thinking something was wrong.

_Blaine. I’m so sorry—I left my phone on my desk when I went down for dinner, and then Finn and I watched a movie. I’m so sorry you were worried._

The screen lit up almost instantly.  _It’s alright. Are we okay? I know things were tense and…that I went too far earlier. I promise I won’t do it again._

Kurt sighed heavily. That was exactly the problem—they’d been dating for over a year and hadn’t moved past sweet kisses and semi-heated make out sessions even though they’d both wanted more. Kurt really, really knew he’d wanted more—he’d spent countless hours fantasizing about Blaine and the minute it had gone further it all had seemed so wrong and he really didn’t know why. He didn’t bring that up, though.  _No, Blaine, don’t worry about it. We’re alright. I’ll see you at school tomorrow? I’m so sorry I made you worry._

_It’s okay. I love you so much, Kurt._

Kurt’s heart clenched guiltily as he just typed a heart in response. He plugged his phone in and collapsed against the pillows, sighing heavily.  The situation was just so…frustrating. Kurt had spent countless hours masturbating in this very bed to thoughts of Blaine, what they would do together. His body _definitely_ wanted more—Kurt had never found himself in a more constant state of arousal in his entire life, so why was it exactly that he’d just shut down like that over Blaine’s hand being on his thigh?

Kurt swallowed hard and tried to conjure up one of his old fantasies of kissing Blaine and taking off his clothes. Kurt had seen Blaine shirtless before—he had a beautiful body, one that Kurt was sure he could never live up to. Kurt imagined himself touching miles of tanned skin, his hands skimming over Blaine’s firm ass (Blaine was totally sensitive about the size of his ass, but Kurt quite liked it), sliding around the front to his cock, which would of course, be hard all for Kurt. Kurt smiled—just thinking about touching Blaine like this was starting to get him hard like it always did. Maybe this was going to be okay.

He slid his boxers down just enough and took his cock out, stroking it to hardness as he thought about a naked Blaine on top of him while they made out, of Blaine’s fingers inside of him, stretching him open like Kurt had never managed to do on his own because the angle was just too awkward. He knew Blaine would be so careful and gentle with him, sweet and kind, kissing him as he kept adding more fingers. It would be so romantic—he’d touch Kurt all over until his skin was tingling and Kurt couldn’t wait another minute for Blaine to be inside him. Blaine would probably feel amazing inside of him, they’d feel so connected, and usually, this was the point where Kurt would spill onto his hand and fall back into the pillows with satisfied smile.

But tonight it wasn’t enough. For some reason, the idea of sweet, slow, gentle lovemaking wasn’t getting him anywhere close to coming. He pulled his hand away and groaned in frustration, pulling his boxers up over his painfully hard cock. He tried his best to roll over and go to sleep, but his body wasn’t having any of that.

“Damn it,” Kurt whispered into the dark, feeling like screaming as he took his cock in hand again, stroking hard and fast, hoping pure stimulation would overcome the fact that his go to fantasy had failed him. What he was doing felt good, but it wasn’t enough, it wasn’t enough until Sebastian’s face appeared in his mind and he saw himself tangled up with him, kissing wildly and tearing at each other’s clothes. Sebastian would rake his nails down Kurt’s chest before swallowing his cock down whole, just like he’d promised he would in French so many weeks ago in the coffee shop. His hand moved faster, and he brought his free hand up to one of his nipples, rolling it between his fingers. He inhaled sharply at the contact, his cock practically leaking precome as he thought about Sebastian’s eyes looking up at him and that mouth wrapped around him. Kurt let out a stuttering gasp and he started  _fucking_ his fist to thoughts of Sebastian’s eyes gleaming up at him as he bobbed his head up and down on Kurt’s cock. He bit his lip, trying to stay silent. He couldn’t quite keep himself from moaning while his body curled in on itself, his cock pulsing in his hand as he came harder than he had in his entire life.

“Wow,” Kurt mumbled, smiling beatifically at nothing, reveling in the aftermath of what might be his best orgasm ever. He honestly wouldn’t have been surprised if there had been come on the freaking  _ceiling._  

Then he realized what he’d done and let out a choked sob. He thought about how Blaine would feel about him coming to thoughts of Sebastian, and that made Kurt feel even worse. This felt like a betrayal of some sort, and shame washed over him in waves. He cleaned himself up and curled up around a pillow, trying his best not to overthink it. This happened to everyone at some point, right? You couldn’t help what popped in your mind in the heat of the moment. Right?

 

* * *

 

 

Kurt felt guilty as he slid into bed a few nights later. The fantasies about Sebastian hadn’t stopped. If anything, they were getting more detailed, and there were a few times where he hadn’t even started off with thoughts of his boyfriend. It made him awkward around Blaine, which wasn’t good because things had been weird between them ever since that failed attempt to go south of the border. They hadn’t so much as held hands since then. They went through their same routine at school, talking and chatting lightly about Vogue, glee club and fantasy vacations, but he started to see that perhaps Sebastian had a point about something being missing.

 

He and Blaine had a ton of compatibility. But Kurt realized that he hadn’t felt like Blaine’s boyfriend in a long, long time. They were best friends, he hoped they’d always be, but Kurt knew that the romantic part of their relationship was over, for him at least.

 

If only he knew how to tell Blaine.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning-- briefly mentions Karofsky's suicide attempt in Season 3

It took a week before Kurt found the courage to look Blaine in the eye and tell him that he thought they should break up. Kurt felt his own heart shatter when Blaine turned his head and shut his eyes against tears.

"I thought...you were never saying goodbye to me," Blaine whispered, and the shocked pain in his voice broke the tiny pieces of Kurt's heart that were left into dust.

He hated that he was breaking his best friend, his first love's, heart. But it would be dishonest to keep being Blaine's boyfriend when he knew that he wasn't  _in_ love anymore. He cared far too much about Blaine to lie to him about something that big.

"Why, Kurt? I thought...I thought we were okay?" Blaine asked.

Kurt sighed, then took a deep breath. "I love you, but...I'm not  _in_ love with you, Blaine. You're my best friend, and I don't want that to change, but...I understand if you don't want to even look at me anymore." His voice broke on the last few words. He meant them, but he couldn't imagine life without Blaine, and he really hoped it didn't come to that.

"God, Kurt...I...I do still want to be your friend, but I don't think I can just...jump into it. Yesterday I thought you were just as in love with me as I am with you and now you're telling me you don't want to be with me anymore. I...this came out of  _nowhere_ for me _,_ Kurt. I just...I need time."

And then Blaine turned his head, and Kurt knew it was time to leave. He picked up his bag and turned once he was in the doorway. "Blaine, I really, really am sorry."

"I know," Blaine whispered.

Kurt had to sit in his Navigator for 15 minutes before he could stop crying enough to drive home.

 

* * *

 

There was a sadness in Blaine's eyes that never seemed to quite go away, no matter how much he smiled, and the sight never failed to make Kurt's heart clench. He knew he'd done the right thing, the honest, the honorable thing, but  _God,_ it sucked.

He and Blaine were perfectly polite to one another, but they didn't hang out, they didn't do any of the things they did before they became a couple. Kurt understood, he really did, but without Blaine...his life seemed a little lonely. Even Glee was getting awkward, because each member had their own opinion about what happened with Kurt and Blaine, and fielding their questions was getting really old. They kept finding ways to leave the two of them alone, and not a day went by without someone saying something about how they were meant to be, that they had a forever love. It was true that Kurt had been quite in love with Blaine for a long time, that they'd created memories that Kurt would always hold dear, that he'd dreamed of their future many, many times, but he thought his friends' expectations were rather unrealistic. Most people, if they dated in high school, rarely went on to stay with that person forever. His friends didn't seem to understand that though and he'd taken to hiding out in the Lima Bean just to avoid them. Even worse, Sebastian was there rather often, and would always stop by to say hello, and ask how Kurt was doing. He even asked about Blaine a few times and Kurt always waived those questions off, because for some reason, he wanted to keep the news of his breakup private for now. He also wanted to minimize his contact with Sebastian, because those damn fantasies hadn't stopped.

Kurt sighed heavily as he looked at the same page of  _The Grapes of Wrath_ that he'd been reading for the past half an hour. It was hopeless-he should probably pack up and go home.

" _Fancy seeing you here."_

Kurt rolled his eyes-Sebastian was well aware that Kurt was here at least three times a week. He sighed, not even turning to look at Sebastian as he continued to pack his things up. Kurt's eyes flickered up when he heard the drag of a chair and a small thump as Sebastian sat down.

"Can I help you?" Kurt asked, irritated.

Sebastian smiled, and Kurt tried to ignore the way it made his stomach swoop. "I was actually going to ask you that."

Kurt's chest tightened. "And what makes you think I need your help?"

Sebastian looked down and to the side. "I don't want you to get pissed at me, but...you have looked so,  _so_ sad every time I've seen you over the past few weeks."

None of his friends had asked how he felt at any point in their crusade to reunite Kurt and Blaine. The only people who had seemed to have any concern for his feelings were his Dad and Carole. "I broke up with Blaine," he whispered.

"Oh," Sebastian said quietly. "I'm really sorry, Kurt. Are you okay?"

Kurt shrugged. "It's been a few weeks, and I know it was the right thing to do, but...it really,  _really_ sucks." He couldn't believe he was telling Sebastian all of this. Didn't he hate the guy?

"Yeah but...it's gonna be okay eventually, you know?" Sebastian murmured, and Kurt almost wanted to laugh at the idea of Sebastian comforting him. "Is Blaine okay?"

"I guess so," Kurt said quietly. "He's...really upset. It was a surprise to him. I just...you were right, okay? I wasn't in love anymore. So you can tell me you told me so. Let's just get it over with."

"For once, I think I'm not going to take that opportunity," Sebastian said softly, although there was an unmistakable hint of smugness in voice.

"I'm so impressed," Kurt muttered, only half joking. For some reason, this five minute conversation with Sebastian made him feel better than anything his friends had said since he broke up with Blaine.

"You should be," Sebastian shot back. "I'm a pretty impressive specimen."

Kurt's eyes crinkled as he smiled and took a sip out of his drink. Maybe he didn't have to go home just yet. He could spare a few more minutes.

Somehow, he and Sebastian ended up sitting together whenever they were both at the coffee shop. Kurt tried not to admit that he came to the Lima Bean more and more, hoping that he might see Sebastian there. It was desperate, he knew, but he tried to justify it to himself by saying that it was because he knew Sebastian wouldn't press him to get back together with Blaine or talk about his feelings.

"Hey, Kurt!" Sebastian said by way of greeting as he joined him in line one afternoon.

Kurt gave him a half smile. "Hey."

"'Sup, killer?"

Kurt sighed. "How many times do I have to explain to you that 'killer' is just... _weird?_ Who even says crap like that?"

"I do," Sebastian said simply. "But really, how are you?"

"I'm...good," Kurt said quietly, realizing that he really meant it for once. "Really good, actually." He smiled.

"That's good to hear," Sebastian answered, and when Kurt looked over at him, he could tell that Sebastian really meant what he'd just said. It was strange, but Kurt was starting to feel like they might be friends or something.

Once they were seated with their drinks, Kurt fidgeted restlessly, a question dancing on his tongue that he was a little scared to ask. It had been bouncing around in his head for nearly a week now, and he wasn't sure that he could keep it in any longer. He traced the lid of his drink with the tip of one finger and took a deep breath. "Sebastian, can I ask you something?"

"Sure. Although, I totally reserve the right not to answer."

Kurt shrugged. "Fair enough. I just...why are you being so nice to me?"

Sebastian's shoulders stiffened. "I can't just be nice to you because I want to?"

Kurt bit his lip. "You could, but...it's like you've changed so much, and I don't understand why or what you want from me."

Sebastian let out a long breath, resting his elbows on the table and pressing his head into his hands. "So...before Karofsky...you know, I kind said some mean things to him. And after it happened, I realized...well, I realized that I'm kind of a total asshole," he said earnestly.

Kurt couldn't help it-he let out a little snicker. "I'm sorry," he said instantly. "Go on."

Sebastian pulled his head up and rested a hand on the table. "It made me think a lot. Like I said to you and Rachel before, everything isn't fun and games anymore. I just...I don't want to be this jerk that just goes around hurting everyone. I hate to think that I might have made him feel  _that_ bad."

"Hey, no, don't. You can't blame yourself for that," Kurt cut in. He couldn't believe Sebastian had been carrying this around for so long, that he'd ever think it he was in any way responsible for what David had tried to do.

"I know," Sebastian said, sighing heavily. "It's just that I've been really selfish and mean and I don't want to be anymore." He paused and swallowed loudly. "I just feel like no one really notices me unless I'm doing something crazy." His voice had gone so quiet Kurt could barely hear him.

Kurt didn't know what to do or say, and nothing he came up with seemed right. . "I...I don't know what to say. I mean, I think that's really good that you realize it now. And no matter what you've done," Kurt said seriously, "you matter to someone." He felt kind of cheesy parroting his dad's words at someone else, but it was damn good advice. And he felt like Sebastian needed to hear it right now.

Sebastian let out a bitter chuckle. "Yeah, like who? All the guys I've fucked probably don't remember me and my parents pretty much want me to stay out of their way. I honestly...I don't even have any real friends."

When Kurt looked into Sebastian's eyes, he saw a loneliness there that he knew all too well. "Well," Kurt said slowly. "I think you and I...are kind of friends. And so...you matter to me." Kurt murmured, lowering his eyes.

"Yeah?" Sebastian said, smiling softly.

"Yeah," Kurt affirmed. "Do you know that not a single one of my friends has asked how I feel about anything since I broke up with Blaine? They don't even respect my decision-they just keep trying to get us back together."

"That's gotta be fucking irritating," Sebastian burst out.

"Yeah, it is. But I still love them."

"Well they're really, really lucky."

Kurt looked down and felt himself blushing. "Thank you," he said quietly, unsure of what to say yet again.

"I don't want you to get the wrong idea, but, I have to go now and I...I was wondering if I could get your phone number?"

Kurt's eyebrows shot up. "Uh...why-" He remembered what Sebastian had just said and stopped himself. He could give him a chance-he'd given Sebastian a few chances so far and he'd yet to screw any of them up. "Sure. Give me your phone and I'll put my number in. Then I'll send myself a message so I'll have your number."

Sebastian handed his phone over, and Kurt typed his number in, then sent himself a message that said " _I've never been able to admit it, but I can't keep it in any longer. Your hair is so much better than mine._

Sebastian snorted when he read the message. "You typed that, not me."

"I only type the truth," Kurt teased.

Sebastian smiled at him and stood up. "I really do have to go. Family dinner thing. But...maybe I can text you when it gets boring?"

"Yeah," Kurt agreed. Then he added, "I'd like that." Part of him couldn't believe he'd said that, but he shouldn't be surprised with the way that he seemed to lose his fitler around Sebastian.

 

* * *

 

_Oh my GOD they invited this girl they have been trying to set me up with for years. Ugh._

Kurt laughed out loud at the idea of Sebastian dating a girl, and Carole looked up from the stove where she was sauteing chicken for dinner.

"I haven't heard you laugh like that for a while," she said pointedly.

"Oh. Yeah, I guess so," Kurt agreed. "I think I'm finally over Blaine, you know?"

Carole smiled. "I'm glad, Kurt. You seemed so sad. It darn near broke my heart."

Kurt's heart swelled. No one would ever replace his mom, but Kurt really, really loved Carole. His phone buzzed again.

_Bitch you're supposed to be keeping me entertained throughout this boring affair while I try not to get caught alone with this girl. Even if I was straight...just no. She has horrible fashion sense. And awful teeth._

Kurt laughed and typed :  _Oh? That will never do. I know a few fashionably dressed girls that might be more to your liking. They all have great teeth, too. Our guidance counselor's boyfriend is a dentist and he gave us all discounts. : )_

His phone buzzed almost immediately.

_Fuck you, Kurt. :)_

Kurt laughed again and when he looked up, Carole was eyeing him suspiciously.

"What?" he asked self-consciously.

She just smiled a little. "Nothing. It just seems like you're very into that text message conversation."

Kurt flushed, looking away and suddenly finding his fingernails quite interesting.

"Oh, Kurt, you're  _blushing._ Is it someone special?"

"Uhm..." Kurt could feel himself getting redder. "Not really. No. Sebastian and I are just friends."

"Surrrre," Carole said, and Kurt knew she didn't believe him.

"Well. I know he likes me," Kurt offered.

"Of course he does," she said confidently. "What's not to like?"

"Oh  _stop,"_ Kurt giggled, waving her off.

"I'm only telling the truth sweetheart. Anyway, do you like him back?"

Kurt's stomach jumped up nervously as he allowed himself to consider it. "I...maybe? It's complicated."

Carole's eyes rolled. "Probably not so much as you think. If you ever want to talk about it...you know where to find me, okay?"

Kurt nodded, and looked down at his phone.

_This thing would totally suck less if you were here._

Kurt smiled. Feeling a little bold, he typed :  _I wish I could be there. :)_


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next three chapters cover one day. I know, I know! I'm so wordy!!! But I broke it up to make things a little more readable!

Kurt almost shrieked when he felt hands press down against his shoulders. He turned around, ready to lay into whoever had  _dared_ to startle him, but when he saw Sebastian there, he relaxed. His annoyance didn't fade though.

"That was very rude, Sebastian."

Sebastian shrugged. "It was pretty funny though."

"Whatever," Kurt huffed. "Did you want something?"

"Actually, yeah," Sebastian said. "I was wondering if I could convince you to do something...adventurous for once. We always sit here and do homework or chit chat. What do you say we shake things up and have some  _real_ fun?"

Real fun? What did  _that_ mean? Kurt's brain instantly went to the dark, dirty fantasies he had about Sebastian, the fantasies that  _still_ hadn't stopped coming.

"Earth to Kurt?" Sebastian was waving his hand in front of Kurt's very,  _very_ red face.

"What? Yeah, uhm...maybe. What exactly does "real fun" mean to you? Because, uhm...we're friends and I like you and all and..."

Sebastian cut in. "You like me?"

Kurt blushed. "What? I mean, yeah, I guess, but, uhm..."

Sebastian grinned smugly. "Well, well. Kurt Hummel  _likes_ me. Best. Day. Ever."

Kurt buried his head in his hands. "Fuck you, Sebastian."

"But I thought you liked me," Sebastian teased.

"Not anymore," Kurt huffed, feeling embarrassed and awkward. Where had that even come from? And even worse, why wasn't he denying it or playing it off as 'I like you as a friend?'

"Awww, Kurt come on. I was only teasing," Sebastian murmured. "Really, though, I was actually hoping I could convince you to do something adventurous with me today."

Kurt's eyebrow rose. "Classy."

Sebastian's rolled his eyes. "I meant that non sexually for once. So are you in or not?"

"I guess so," Kurt said, trying to appear disinterested. It probably wasn't convincing considering how red his face still was. He had no idea what Sebastian had up his sleeve but it couldn't be  _that_ bad, right?

"So what's your address?"

"What?" Kurt choked on his drink, at the suddenness of Sebastian's question.

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "So you can change out of that deliciously tight outfit and throw on something more comfortable that you can move in. Where do you live?"

"Uh..." Kurt didn't know which part of that he should address. Part of him was extremely pleased that his outfit was  _deliciously_ tight, the other was nervous as to why Sebastian wanted to know where he lived.

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "Jesus, Kurt, I'm not going to TP your house or anything. I just think it'd be easier if I followed you home and then took you where we were going."

"Oh," Kurt said, feeling a little silly. He told Sebastian where he lived and they finished their coffee. When they walked outside, Kurt's jaw dropped as he saw the car that Sebastian was getting into.

He felt a little shallow, but the sight of Sebastian in his sunglasses, in  _that_ car, made his heart beat faster.

 

* * *

 

"Mmmm," Sebastian purred as Kurt emerged from the house in tight, faded jeans, an old t-shirt and an old pair of converse he kept for helping his dad out at the shop.

"What?" Kurt said uncertainly as he climbed in the passenger seat of Sebastian's car.

"You look... _hot,"_ Sebastian admitted.

"Oh," Kurt said, blushing. "I...this is just stuff I wear when I help my dad out at the shop."

Sebastian snorted. "Help him with what, decorating?"

Kurt reached over and swatted Sebastian's shoulder. "Shut up. I know my way around a car, okay? I've been helping my dad forever. Here. We are currently sitting in a gorgeous red Honda S 2000 AP2 CR. 2008, right?"

"Well aren't you full of surprises?" Sebastian murmured, clearly grudgingly impressed with Kurt's quick and accurate assessment of his vehicle.

"If only you knew," Kurt said saucily, feeling smug when Sebastian inhaled sharply. The smugness was tempered by his inner surprise that he'd totally just  _flirted_ with Sebastian, and not only that, he'd batted his damn eyelashes while doing it.

True to his unintentional admission, Kurt was growing rather fond of Sebastian, and some of it was definitely more than friendly. He wasn't sure if it was just lust because...hell, he'd have to be fucking blind to deny the fact that Sebastian was really  _really_ hot. It was a huge part of the reason he'd felt so threatened when he thought Sebastian had been after Blaine.

"Oh, I promise to find out, babe," Sebastian murmured, his voice low and hot, sending shivers down Kurt's spine. He hoped Sebastian hadn't noticed the way he'd shuddered a little, but that would be hoping for far too much. It was just, when Sebastian talked like that, he sounded just like Kurt had thought he would when he was guiltily fantasizing about them together.

Kurt knew deep down inside that his little admission was going to get him into serious trouble. Now that Sebastian knew that Kurt was at least a little interested he would push things a little further. Kurt wasn't entirely sure that he'd stop Sebastian if he tried. He might even want it.

Kurt needed to steer this conversation elsewhere, because he was losing control - of the conversation, the situation, his thoughts, the part of him that told him it would be  _really_ stupid to do something like jump across the car and crawl into Sebastian's lap already. He didn't know why he wanted to do that anyway-he'd always thought Blaine was absolutely gorgeous and had been more than capable of controlling himself, even when their makeout sessions got a little intense. What was it about Sebastian that made him feel so out of control? Usually not being in control scared Kurt half to death, but for some reason, when he was with Sebastian, it didn't feel unsafe because for some strange, strange reason, he trusted him.

Kurt took a moment to collect himself as Sebastian backed out of the driveway. Once he felt calm, he asked, "So what's with all the mystery?"

"Surprises aren't fun if you already know how they end. Come on, it's not like I'm going to chop your head off and dump you on the side of the road," Sebastian teased.

Kurt pursed his lips thoughtfully. "No, I suppose you won't. Couldn't risk damaging this beautiful interior. Must have cost a fortune to get it reupholstered- and especially with such fine quality leather. I know for a fact it only comes in black or yellow cloth from the manufacturer." He ran his hand longingly over the leather.

Sebastian threw his head back and laughed, the sound making Kurt smile instantly. "You really do know your cars. So does that you mean that you know just how powerful this car is?"

Kurt nodded. "The odometer claims it can go 160 but it really just gets up to 155."

"I'm well aware of that," Sebastian said confidently.

Kurt's eyes widened. "Are you kidding me?"

Sebastian shrugged. "I used to drag race a little. But dad threatened to take her away from me, so..."

Kurt's eyebrows shot up. "Her?"

"Hey, all guys name their cars. Her name is Lola, and you better be good to her."

Kurt laughed. "Lola, hmm? Was she a show girl?"

"Wow, Kurt. That was just...remind me why we're friends again?"

"I don't feel that you have a lot of room to criticize-you totally knew what I was talking about," Kurt pointed out.

"Well...that's irrelevant. My question still stands."

Maybe it's because you want in my skinny jeans," Kurt shot back.  _Fuck. fuck fuck fuck FUCK._ He definitely hadn't meant to let that slip.

"Are you flirting with me, Hummel?"

"...maybe?"

Kurt caught Sebastian smiling as he peeked at him from the corner of his eye and his panic subsided. Okay. So they were flirting. And they both wanted it. And Kurt had no idea where things were going next, but for now, he was content to enjoy riding along in one of the nicest, most amazing cars he'd ever had the pleasure of sitting in.

There was a comfortable silence as Sebastian navigated towards highway and Kurt snuggled into the plush seat, listening absentmindedly to the radio.

No one spoke until the last light before the feeder road onto the highway. "Hey, Kurt, I bet you also know that this thing goes 0-60 in 6.4 seconds, right?"

Kurt sat up fast. "Don't you dare!"

Sebastian just laughed and pressed one of the preset buttons to change the radio station. Loud music blared through the speakers as Kurt shrieked in terror and delight while Sebastian pressed his foot down hard on the gas pedal.

They were  _flying,_ it was dangerous and stupid-they could get pulled over any second or crash or  _die_. Kurt's hair was definitely getting ruined and the harshness of the air was probably horrible for his skin, but in that moment, he hardly cared.

 

* * *

 

Kurt was laughing and singing along by the time they arrived in their destination, which was some kind of state park if the signs were any indication. He rose his eyebrows. "Taking me out to the woods so you can kill me and dump my body in the lake or something?"

Sebastian snorted. "You're kind of insane. It's totally cute."

Kurt blushed, but managed to maintain eye contact. He'd been called cute many times before, but it had never had quite this effect on him. If he thought he was in trouble before...he was really deep in it now.

"Okay, but really. Why in the hell are we at the freaking state park? This isn't really what I'd pictured when you said "adventurous."

"Oh? And what  _were_ you picturing?" Sebastian's eyes seemed to pin him to the seat.

"Uhm. Nothing?" Kurt felt his face getting red.

"Yeah, I don't believe you at all. Anyway, we're going hiking."

Kurt side-eyed Sebastian doubtfully. "Are you serious?  _Hiking?"_

"Mhmm, then we can rent row boats once we get to the lake."

"Do I  _look_ like the sort of person that rows  _boats,_ Sebastian?"

"Nope. That's why it's an adventure, Kurt. Now get out of my car."

Kurt wanted to be annoyed, but...this might actually be kind of fun? He unbuckled his seat belt and stood awkwardly by the car, having absolutely no idea how this whole hiking thing worked.

Sebastian laughed at his obvious awkwardness, and went to the trunk, grabbing two bottles of water. "Sorry they aren't super cold," he apologized, tossing one to Kurt, who only barely caught it. He locked the doors and pulled the cover over his car.

Kurt glared, causing Sebastian to snicker. "How long is this going to take?"

"It's only a mile to the lake. Don't worry, you won't sweat too much-it's essentially flat."

"Hmmm. Well...I guess...a little extra exercise never hurt anyone." Privately, he had to admit that the beautiful green trees and the little path that went through them seemed rather inviting. "Well, let's get this over with," he said tiredly, striding forward.

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "Your enthusiasm is  _so_ attractive."

"I'll make up for it by walking in front of you. I have it on good authority that the view is  _spectacular."_

"Mmm, it is. You need to stop being mean to me right now," Sebastian murmured, his voice low in that way that made Kurt's heart beat a little faster.

"Or what?" Kurt asked breathlessly. "It's not my fault I'm irresistible."

"Yeah," Sebastian said gruffly as he placed his hand on the small of Kurt's back, guiding him forward. His fingers were spread wide over Kurt's back and it made him feel small, but not in a way that was bad. In fact...he kind of liked it.

"Kurt, are you listening to me?" Sebastian asked.

He realized Sebastian had been speaking and sheepishly admitted that he hadn't been.

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "I was just telling you that I agreed with you."

"About what?" Somehow in the jumble of " _oh my god Sebastian is touching me and I like it even though I don't think I should and he's so tall and wow"_ that had been rolling around in his mind, Kurt had completely forgotten when he'd said not even a minute ago.

Sebastian sighed. "I'm only going to say this one more time, so listen up. I was trying to tell you that yeah, you are irresistible to me. You know it, and you need to quit teasing me because you're making it really,  _really_ hard for me to keep the promises I've made to myself."

"Okay," Kurt breathed, trying not to preen too much over the fact that he made someone want to lose control. Then his brain caught up to his ego and he suddenly had a million questions. "Wait a minute-promises you've made to yourself?"

"Look, Kurt, can we talk about this later? For now...let's just enjoy hiking?" He removed his hand from Kurt's back.

Kurt felt a little rejected, but he agreed, not wanting to push things. He fell silent, walking silently behind Sebastian, trying not to think too hard about what Sebastian could have meant. He was so caught up in trying not to think that he missed it when Sebastian stopped walking and ran straight into him. "Sorry," he mumbled, stepping aside and continuing forward.

Sebastian caught him by the wrist, forcing him to turn around. "Hey. Are you mad at me?"

"I...no. I'm not. You wanted to keep going, right?"

Sebastian sighed, looking a little lost. "This is about the promises thing, isn't it?"

Kurt swallowed. "It doesn't matter. If you don't want to talk about it, you don't want to talk about it."

"I  _do_ want to talk about it, Kurt. Just...not while we're hiking? But I meant it. I  _do_ want to talk about it later. Doesn't mean I don't want to talk at all, okay?"

"Okay," Kurt murmured quietly. They walked in silence for a while. Looking for a way to break it, he said, "So...things are better with my friends now. They've kind of started to back off."

"That's good to hear. Did they just give up, or...?"

"Well," Kurt said slowly, "I think it's because...I'm kind of over Blaine now?"

"I guess...that that's a good thing. But you don't seem to be happy about it. What's up with that? I thought that was what you wanted."

Kurt shrugged. "Honestly...I feel bad that I'm over it when Blaine is clearly not. It's...it sucks looking at him all heartbroken when I'm the one who did it, when it's my fault. And I guess...part of me is still surprised because I used to think we'd be together for like, ever." Kurt honestly had no idea why he was confessing all of this now, especially when Sebastian was making it more than clear that he was interested in Kurt and Kurt was starting to be more than a little interested himself. Part of him wanted to clear the air so that it wouldn't be some  _thing_ between them that might lead to an awkward conversation later.

"Hey," Sebastian said softly. "You did what you thought you had to do. There's nothing wrong with that. Blaine will move on, I swear. You weren't in love with him anymore, you have no reason to feel bad about it, none at all. Beyond that I don't know what to tell you. All I can say is that you have the right to do or feel whatever seems right to you."

"Right. That's kind of your motto, right? Seeing as you're the kind who meets the love of your life and stays together for 20 minutes," Kurt replied.

Sebastian looked over at him, confused. "What?"

Kurt's mouth dropped slightly. "Are you telling me you don't remember?"

Sebastian looked sheepish as he scratched at the back of his neck. "Uh...no?"

Kurt retold the story about the night at Scandals and Sebastian laughed.

"Oh. That. Well, to be honest...that's not true. I just said that because...you look...kind of hot when you're mad. Also, it's really easy to make you mad. So...win-win situation, you know?"

Kurt punched Sebastian's shoulder lightly, but part of him was glad that at least part of Sebastian's "man-whore" exterior wasn't completely real. "What's next?" he teased, "you gonna tell me you're a virgin and you've lied about your considerable experience and multiple conquests?"

Sebastian stopped walking because he was laughing that hard. "Wow,  _no._ I am  **so** not a virgin. But...I'll admit...I've let people assume things a few times. So I probably haven't done half the things people say I have. I don't go home with anyone because I might like to fuck, but I'm not stupid, you know?"

"Hmm," Kurt said thoughtfully. "So does that mean..." he trailed off, feeling that the question he'd been about to ask was far too intrusive."Nevermind." 

"No way. You have to tell me what you were going to say," Sebastian insisted.

Kurt sighed. "So...I mean, you're...'with' a lot of people, right?" 

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "If you define being with someone as having sex with them, yeah. I've had my fair share of experiences. Why?" 

Kurt swallowed awkwardly. "Well, I was just wondering if you were...ugh, I can't even say it, it's totally not my business at all." 

"Come on, Kurt, you can't start something and not finish it," Sebastian pressed.

Kurt blushed as he contemplated the least awkward way to ask the question on his mind. "Well. Uhm, do you...I mean are you...safe about everything?"

Sebastian nodded. "Yeah, I get tested every few months and I'm always safe. You totally have a right to know about those things, and unlike,  _you_ , blushing virgin, I totally don't mind talking about it."

"Right. So...subject change?" Especially the part about how Kurt had a right to know, because that would mean...Kurt wasn't going to think about what it meant right now.

"Aww are you embarrassed? Totally a blushing virgin," Sebastian teased.

"I am  _not,"_ Kurt hissed. It was of course, a lie on all fronts.

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Anyway, I'm supposed to be showing you the finer points of being outside. It's obvious from your paleness that you don't know much about this kind of thing."

"Just because I don't spend my time rolling around in the grass doesn't mean I don't know anything about the outdoors," Kurt insisted.

"Oh really? And what do you do outside besides walk to your car?"

"I go running sometimes. And I was totally on the football team sophomore year. So you, Sebastian Smythe, can take your assumptions and shove them up your ass."

Sebastian grinned. "I'd rather-"

"Oh my god!" Kurt shrieked, laughing even as he covered his ears. "Don't finish that sentence!"

Sebastian kept grinning, eyes glowing. "Well, maybe I will later."

"I look forward to it," Kurt said before he could stop himself. A bright red blush spread across his face, but apart from a darkening in his eyes, Sebastian let it go unacknowledged. He changed the subject to the latest Warbler gossip. Kurt let himself nod along as he took in the green beauty of the trees, the surprisingly pleasant smell of earth and the warmth of the mid afternoon sun. He allowed the details of Nick and Jeff's latest break up drift away and instead got lost in the soothing sound of Sebastian's voice.

"Kurt!"

Sebastian's voice, now sharper, louder, snapped Kurt out of his reverie. "Uh...what?"

Sebastian huffed. "Were you listening to me at all?"

Kurt blushed. "Well...I...I...I was listening to the  _sound_ of your voice, not so much what you were actually saying," he confessed.

Sebastian grinned, relaxing a little. "Oh? So you like the sound of my voice then?"

"Well you don't have to get smug about it." He turned away and started walking again. "Are we almost there yet?" he demanded, desperate for a change of subject.

Sebastian caught him by the wrist. "Don't get pissy. And yeah, we're pretty much there. So tell me more about this voice kink of yours."

"Sebastian!" Kurt exclaimed, twisting away. "I do not have a...a...voice... _kink_ or whatever."

Sebastian was undeterred. "Oh, I think you do babe. So tell me..." He jumped in front of Kurt, walking backwards in front of him. "How do you like it best? The way I normally speak, or something a little more like..." Sebastian lowered his voice, and spoke a little slower as he closed his sentence with, "..this." It sounded so sensual that it almost seemed scandalous in the middle of broad daylight like this.

Kurt flushed, ignoring the flutters in his stomach. "This is silly."

"No, it's not. It's awesome. And totally understandable, all things considered." He grinned and Kurt just rolled his eyes, in spite of his slight embarrassment.

"Really, Kurt, you can tell me."

"There's...nothing to tell," Kurt said unconvincingly.

"Oh,  _please._ You're a terrible liar sweetheart.  _What about when I speak to you in French? Do you think about what I said to you the first time, how much I want you, what I want to do to you?"_

Kurt sucked in a breath and stopped walking altogether. "Sebastian...please..."

"Please what, Kurt? And don't lie to me and say stop, because I can see it in your eyes, the way you talk-you don't want this to stop."

"No," Kurt conceded. "I don't."

Sebastian grinned and leaned down, drawing closer and Kurt closed his eyes, surrendering. But the kiss he was expecting never came. He opened his eyes and Sebastian was still right there so  _close,_ smelled so good...but he wasn't moving.

"Aren't you going to kiss me?" Kurt asked hopefully.

Sebastian sighed, his breath hot and minty on Kurt's face. "I want to.  _So_ bad."

Kurt bit his lip, looking up into Sebastian's eyes and was surprised to see conflict in them.. "Then why don't you?" He took a tiny step forward, boldly trailing his fingers along Sebastian's wrist and up his arm. "I'll let you."

"God,  _fuck,_ Kurt..." Sebastian groaned. "Don't tempt me. You make me want to break every single last promise I made about keeping my hands off of you."

"What? Why did you...Isn't this..." Kurt laughed softly, "Isn't this what you want?"

"Yeah, but it's not all I want from you," Sebastian admitted.

"What?"

"You heard me. I don't want to just be your rebound guy."

"Then what do you want from me?" Kurt asked, his voice sounding small.

"I..." Sebastian took a few deep breaths-Kurt almost wondered if Sebastian was freaking out and waited anxiously for Sebastian to just  _say_ something. "I want to finish hiking this trail with you and see how ridiculous you look trying to row a boat."

"Sebastian..." Kurt knew Sebastian had been about to say something big, maybe even knew what it might have been, but he knew you couldn't just  _guess_ what people were thinking. Kurt tried to put it out of his mind and enjoy the scenery.

 

* * *

 

It turned out that rowing a boat was not quite as easy as it seemed. Under Kurt's less than expert direction, they went approximately ten feet over the course of fifteen minutes, with the boat spinning in circles more than it moved forward. Kurt admitted defeat and allowed Sebastian to give him some guidance, pointedly ignoring the other boy's cackling.

Once they were out toward the middle of the lake, drifting gently, Kurt was mostly over this embarrassment at having proven Sebastian's suspicions that rowing would not be Kurt's strong suit.

"Can't say I ever imagined that I'd be on a boat with you, well, ever."

Sebastian laughed. "Agreed. And, if it makes you feel better, you didn't look as completely ridiculous as I'd imagined trying to figure out the finer points of rowing."

Kurt's cheeks pinked slightly. "Uhm, then you must have imagined me tipping the boat over because I think that's only way I could have done a worse job of it."

Sebastian grinned wickedly, rocking from side to side a little. "Well, if  _me_ tipping the boat over would make you feel better..."

"No!" Kurt shrieked.

Sebastian laughed, but stopped moving. "Okay, princess, we wouldn't want you to get your clothes wet."

Kurt's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Something tells me you'd like that a lot."

Sebastian nodded. "You, with your clothes clinging to you so I can see your muscles through them...your hair slicked back, water clinging to your eyelashes..." He tilted his head in consideration. "Yeah. I think I  _would_ like that quite a lot." He started rocking from side to side again, making the boat move not so gently this time.

"Sebastian!" Kurt cried, exasperated. "You had better not!"

Sebastian sighed. "Fine, fine, I'll behave." When the boat stopped moving, Sebastian carefully maneuvered himself such that he was lying down, keeping a respectful distance between them. Kurt assumed it would be fine for him to do the same, and made sure that that distance remained between them. He honestly wasn't sure if he could trust himself to behave like a normal human being if their skin brushed. Just being next to him, aware of the sound of his breath, made Kurt's heart beat a little faster. He tried his best to just get comfortable, to enjoy the peacefulness of looking up at the clouds and enjoying the warmth of the sun. After a while, Kurt was really enjoying himself-laughing as Sebastian pointed out the different shapes he saw in the clouds (all of which were completely ridiculous).

Kurt sighed happily, a little smile on his face as he closed his eyes and listened to the gentle lapping of the water against the sides of the boat. "Sebastian?" Kurt ventured after a few moments had passed.

"Hmm?"

Sebastian almost sounded sleepy-Kurt wondered if now was the time, but scolded himself. If not now, then when? "Why didn't you kiss me? I...really wanted you to."

The boat rocked gently as Sebastian sat up and crawled over Kurt's body. Kurt jolted at the heat of Sebastian's body hovering over his own. "What are you doing?"

"Isn't this what you wanted?" Sebastian said, his voice heavy and bitter as he echoed Kurt's earlier words.

"No, I...Sebastian, get off of me," Kurt protested. "You're being weird...just don't do that, okay?"

"Don't do what?" Sebastian said bitterly. "Give you what you came for?"

"I..." Kurt trailed off, unsure of what to say.

Sebastian sighed and moved so that he was on the other end of the boat, knees drawn up. "It looks like it's going to rain," he said dully. "I think we should row in and head back before it does."

Kurt sighed miserably, wanting to say something but having no idea what to say, partially because he had absolutely no idea what had just happened.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Warning" : Things are heating up a little between the boys...

The rain started when they were almost back to the car and the trailhead. Kurt shrieked as the cold punishing rain drove straight through his clothes and into his skin. Sebastian, who had been mostly silent and melancholy, found Kurt's distress hilarious.

"It's not funny!" Kurt yelled over the rain as Sebastian pulled him under a big tree. Here, they weren't getting too much rain on them, just little drips that managed to make it through the thick canopy of trees.

Now that the rain wasn't coming at him from all angles, Kurt felt like he could breathe again , slicking his hair back with both of his hands and running his hands over his face to wipe some of the water away. When he opened his eyes, Sebastian was  _staring_ at him, moving forward, and Kurt backed against the trunk of the tree as Sebastian crowded his space. He tried to remember that he and Sebastian had been walking in awkward silence and totally needed to talk about that weird minute they'd had back on the boat, but something about the heat between them and the way Sebastian's shirt was sticking to his quite well defined chest made Kurt forget for a moment.

"I knew I was right," Sebastian growled as he pushed Kurt's body against the tree with his own.

"About what?" Kurt gasped, heart thumping wildly in his throat.

"You look so fucking hot all wet like this," Sebastian whispered before leaning down and bending his head to lick up the sweet-salt taste of Kurt's rain soaked neck. "Fuck, I feel like I can't stop myself right now, so you need to say something if you don't want this."

"I want it," Kurt whispered. Sebastian peppered the side of his throat with kisses and nips that Kurt was sure would leave bruises. Sebastian was making the most delicious sounds and Kurt realized that just this, just kissing his neck had Sebastian hot and hard against Kurt's hip and a shock jolted through him and Kurt realized how achingly hard he was in his tight jeans. "God, just kiss me," he gasped as Sebastian nuzzled along his chin.

"I said I wasn't gonna do this," Sebastian groaned. "Are you sure?"

"Yes," Kurt said steadily. "I want you to kiss me. I think I've wanted you to for a while."

Sebastian's eyes burned bright with want, his gaze pinning Kurt where he stood. It seemed like an eternity as Sebastian leaned in and slowly, so slowly, his lips found their way to Kurt's. Kurt forgot himself for a moment, arms shooting up to wrap around Sebastian's neck, pulling him closer. Sebastian pressed deeper, his tongue sliding along the seam of Kurt's lips. He yielded instantly, one of his hands winding into the hair at the base of Sebastian's skull, pulling him closer. Sebastian's hands were lightly circling Kurt's waist, but it wasn't enough, Kurt wanted more of his skin on Sebastian's skin. He hooked an ankle around Sebastian's calf, pulling slightly. The action unsteadied both of them, Sebastian's hands coming against the tree for balance as he fell against Kurt, Kurt's legs spreading wider for stability.

Kurt was instantly hyper aware of the  _many_ places that Sebastian was touching him, a thrill pulsing through his body as he realized that nothing had ever been even close to this exciting with Blaine.

"God, Kurt," Sebastian whispered. "I want you so fucking bad."

Their chests pressed against one another as they both panted for breath.

"I... _unghhhhhhh."_ Whatever Kurt had been about to say was lost as Sebastian began sucking at his collarbone, kissing his way upwards.

"Shit, we need to stop," Sebastian whispered against Kurt's jaw. "This...this is breaking all the rules."

"Fuck the rules," Kurt gasped, clenching his hands in the wet fabric of the back of Sebastian's shirt as he pulled him down for another dizzying kiss.

"God, I can't. Just, just one more," Sebastian begged, kissing Kurt's lips after only a second of being apart.

"Don't wanna stop," Kurt complained the next time they came up for air.

"Me either," Sebastian breathed. "God I don't want to stop...but we should. God, fuck, we really should."

"I know..." Kurt said, the slightest hint of a whine in his voice.

It seemed like Sebastian couldn't stop himself from diving back in to taste Kurt's lips once more. He pushed himself away, putting distance between Kurt and himself when they pulled away from each other. "Jesus," he groaned, squatting down and resting his elbows on his knees for a moment as he tried to get his breath back.

"Yeah," Kurt agreed from where he was standing, rooted against the tree, hands clenched at his sides. "That was..."

"I'm sorry if I...if that was too much." Sebastian stood and turned around to say more and froze at the sight of Kurt. "Oh,  _shit_ ," he groaned.

"What?" Kurt asked, concerned.

"I...please don't be mad at me, but...I...your neck...I kind of mauled it. And uhm, your jaw."

Kurt's hands flew up to his neck, feeling the hot, sore places where Sebastian had marked him. "Well, that's going to be awkward to explain," he said.

"You're not mad?"

Kurt shrugged. "Maybe I will be later. For now...I'm still not over how  _amazing_ that was."

Sebastian smiled, but something about it seemed fake, and bitter. "Well, I'm glad it was good for you. I'm glad you got what you wanted."

Kurt sighed-it seemed like they were back to whatever in the hell had happened on the boat. "And what exactly do you think it is that I want from you?"

"The same thing everyone else does. I'm just the good time guy. I get it." Kurt had never heard a person sound so bitter. Or maybe it was hurt that colored Sebastian's words, not bitterness.

Kurt was floored-there were a million things wrong with that statement. "Sebastian..." Yet again, Kurt didn't know what to say because there were a  _million_ things to say.

"The rain let up," Sebastian said cooly, turning away from Kurt. "Let's get you home."

"Sebastian!" Kurt called after him, but Sebastian kept walking. Kurt groaned in frustration and kicked the tree.

"Ow," he said lamely, staring at the ground and deciding that he should probably keep up with Sebastian. For some reason, this afternoon was a sea of ups and downs, and it was driving him absolutely insane. As they reached the car and slid in, soaking wet and drenching the interior of the car, Kurt was still thinking about what had happened and what he could say to make it better. Sebastian was wrong about him. Kurt wasn't entirely sure what he wanted, but he knew he wanted to explore this thing with Sebastian. For once, he just wanted to let something happen.

 

* * *

 

"Well?" Sebastian said, stopping the car in front of the driveway.

"I think you should park and come in." He really didn't want Sebastian to leave with so many things unsaid.

"I don't know..." Sebastian murmured, looking away from Kurt's kind blue eyes.

"Come on, aren't you cold? You could warm up and borrow something dry."

Kurt could practically feel Sebastian's resistance cracking as he shifted and his cold, soaked through clothes stuck to him awkwardly. "And, you could stay for dinner. You've got to be hungry."

Sebastian's stomach growled and Kurt knew he'd won.

" _Fine,"_ Sebastian said, backing up the car and maneuvering it onto the street. Kurt dug out his keys while Sebastian covered his car and started walking up the driveway, Sebastian's steps squelching behind him. They stepped into the house and shivered at the coolness of the air.

"Finn!" Kurt called as he placed his keys on the table and toed his shoes off. "Guess he's not here. Shoes off," he said to Sebastian as they padded through the house, leaving wet prints on the floor as they walked up the stairs to Kurt's room. "So, uh, this is my room," he said, scanning the floor for dirty underwear or anything of the like.

"Hmmm," Sebastian murmured, "Totally not what I was expecting. It's classy and modern-I like it."

"Thanks, I think," Kurt replied, stepping over to his dresser. "I think...I think my sweats will fit you just fine, but I'll probably have to get one of Finn's shirts, mine might be too small..."

"Nah," Sebastian said, shrugging. "Yours will do just fine." He gripped the bottom of his wet shirt and started peeling it off.

"What are you doing?" Kurt squeaked, turning around in embarrassment.

"What, I thought I was borrowing some clothes?" Sebastian teased, the sound of his wet shirt hitting the floor shocking Kurt into action.

He whirled around, starting to demand that Sebastian get that wet shirt off his floor  _now,_ but the sight of Sebastian standing there, dripping wet and shirtless stole the sentence out of his mouth. Kurt knew he was staring, that his face was bright red, but he didn't care. "Holy  _shit_ ," he breathed.

Sebastian laughed, and Kurt was sure he was drooling at the clench and flex of Sebastian's muscles as he did so.

"Take your shirt off," Sebastian said softly.

That brought Kurt out of his stupor quickly. "What? No, uhm, I'm not as...I'll...get you a shirt and uhm what are you doing?" Kurt's rambling trailed off as Sebastian moved towards him, pulling him close.

"Just take your shirt off, Kurt. We're not going to do anything, okay? Nothing else is coming off. I swear. I just want to see. It's only fair, after all." Sebastian smiled and it stole the breath right out of Kurt's lungs.

"I...," Kurt breathed. "I've never..."

"I know," Sebastian breathed, leaning in to kiss Kurt slow and deep. "Just let me see you."

Kurt blushed, closing his eyes tightly, stepping back and yanking his shirt over his head as quickly as possible. The air felt cold on his skin and he shivered as he felt the weight of Sebastian's stare. Kurt's eyes popped open as he felt Sebastian's fingers on his hips.

Dimly, he heard Sebastian ask, "This okay?" as his thumbs skimmed over the sharp curve of Kurt's hip bone.

Kurt could only make a small moaning noise as he nodded. He'd never been this naked with anyone,  _for_ anyone, in his whole life. He gasped as Sebastian's hands, so much largerthan he'd realized, drifted up his sides, making him shiver.

"Look at me," Sebastian murmured, voice hot and rich, flowing over Kurt's skin as his hands touched Kurt all over.

Kurt's face was burning and he felt like his body was tingling all over, but he forced himself to open his eyes.

"God, your eyes are gorgeous," Sebastian whispered, leaning in and resting his forehead against Kurt's. " _You_ are gorgeous." He pressed his cheek to Kurt's, then moved down to place an open mouthed kiss on Kurt's shoulder.

Kurt's chest was heaving, skin wet and cold from the rain, from nervousness. "Sebastian...what are we doing?" He tried to remember that he was supposed to be  _talking_ to Sebastian, not letting him strip Kurt half naked and take his breath away and make him crazy with want over the smallest touches, touches that he claimed weren't supposed to happen. " I thought...God, I'm so confused right now."

"Don't be. I just wanted to see you. You're so beautiful."

"I..." Kurt was just standing there, butterflies dancing in his stomach.

"Kurt, you okay?"

Sebastian's voice brought him back, and he blushed, realizing that he'd just been standing there, staring and breathing hard. "Oh, right," he said faintly. "I'll...get you some clothes." He turned to his dresser, pulling out a pair of sweats that were loose on him and his McKinley PE shirt. He pressed them into Sebastian's waiting arms and pointed him in the direction of his bathroom.

"There's towels," he said dreamily. "I'll use the other bathroom-I'll be in the kitchen making dinner, okay?"

The next fifteen minutes, grabbing yoga pants and a shirt out of his dresser, going down the hall, changing and going to the kitchen seemed like something out of a dream.

 

* * *

 

When Sebastian entered the kitchen, toweled dry and dressed in Kurt's clothes, Kurt was much calmer and had pans on the stove. He still had no fucking clue why Sebastian kept running hot and cold on him, though.

"Damn, Hummel! What are you making? It smells fucking  _amazing_ in here!"

Kurt smiled. "Nothing special-chicken, asparagus, and some pasta."

"Well, god, it smells so incredible. That's enough to make a man fall in love."

"I thought you didn't do that," Kurt mumbled, wondering exactly where this conversation might be going.

Sebastian looked at him in a way that Kurt couldn't interpret. "I don't. But I'd be willing to make an exception."

It went without saying that Sebastian was most certainly talking about Kurt.

"Yeah?" Kurt said, his voice shaking a little. "And why exactly is that?"

"Because I'm already breaking all my rules for you."

Kurt gaped at him, not really sure what to say. Sebastian made it easy for him, abruptly asking if there was anything he could do to help.

Kurt was a little thrown by how quickly they had gone from serious almost talking about their feelings to talking about dinner. He let it go for now, partially because he wasn't exactly sure what his feelings were and thinking about it was too hard. "No. I work alone in the kitchen-you want a job done right, you do it yourself."

Sebastian put his hands up in surrender. "Alright, alright, can't blame a guy for trying!"

Kurt hummed in agreement. "Dinner will be ready in fifteen minutes, okay? If you want, you can bring me your clothes and I'll stick them in the dryer while the pasta finishes cooking."

Kurt took Sebastian's clothes to the laundry room when he brought them back, and then turned his attention back to dinner. They chatted lightly with Sebastian about school and friends while he put the finishing touches on their meal. This felt oddly comfortable, standing barefoot in his kitchen, dressed down and making dinner for Sebastian. It occurred to him quite suddenly that he'd never been this casual or this dressed down with Blaine. He wondered if that meant anything.

"This is so nice," Sebastian murmured, vocalizing Kurt's thoughts as they sat down to dinner with full plates and rumbling stomachs. "All of this is just...so amazing. Thank you so much. Figures you'd know how to cook, though."

Kurt flushed. "Well, I mean, my mom died and then it was just me and my dad. And my dad only ever wanted to feed me hamburgers and milkshakes. Which is kind of awesome, but...then he had the heart attack, and he needed to eat better, and I didn't want my pear hips to get any bigger so I really started learning how to cook better."

"Wow," Sebastian said around a mouthful of pasta. "That's...a lot. Wow. I'm sorry about your mom."

"It was...a really long time ago," Kurt murmured. Sometimes it did still hurt, but this was just the way things were.

"I know, but...It still sucks. Also, you totally don't have pear hips. I've had my hands on them-I'd know."

"Oh. Uhm, thank you. I don't believe you, but you're really nice to say so. But yeah, I know how to cook for perfectly legitimate reasons, not just because I have a, what did you say, a bad case of the gay face."

Sebastian put his fork down. "You know I was just kidding, right? And that was before we...you know, got to be friends."

Kurt beamed at him. "Well then, I totally have to tell you that you don't smell like craigslist. Or look like a meerkat."

Sebastian giggled, and Kurt had to admit he thought it was kind of adorable.

"So," Sebastian said once they'd finished eating, "Can I at least do the dishes, or..."

Kurt shook his head, although he felt warm that Sebastian even asked. "No, that's fine-I'll do them later. You want some cheesecake?"

Kurt smirked as Sebastian's jaw hit the floor and he nodded enthusiastically. "Who says no to cheesecake?"

"No one with taste," Kurt said airily. "Cake cures all evils."

"I'm surprised to hear you say that. I would have pegged you for the type that's always on a diet."

Kurt rolled his eyes. "I try to watch my figure, yeah, but...cheesecake is amazing, we almost always have some on hand. It's my kryptonite. You're just going to have to get used to the fact that I'm not a walking stereotype, Seb."

"Now you're calling me nicknames, Kurtiekins?" Sebastian smirked up at him, eyes alight with challenge.

Kurt, who had been about to set Sebastian's plate with cheesecake down, moved it away instead. "If you ever call me that again I will rip your balls off with my teeth."

"Oh?" Sebastian teased. "Well at least my balls would have been in your mouth."

"DUDES!" Finn screeched as he stumbled in the kitchen just in time to hear the end of Sebastian's sentence.

"Finn!" Kurt gasped, nearly dropping cheesecake everywhere. "It's not, we were just joking around...uh...it's not what it sounded like, okay?"

Sebastian giggled, then burst out laughing.

Finn turned pink. "I'm just going to eat the rest of the cheesecake for dinner, pretend like this never happened, and go shoot some shit up on the Xbox. Can you, uh, like, not be noisy or whatever if you're gonna be..." Finn winced as he shuffled towards the silverware drawer to get a fork for his outrageously unhealthy dinner.

"I'll try to keep it down, but Kurt's an  _animal,_ man," Sebastian said casually as he picked up his fork and took a bite of his cheesecake.

"Sebastian!" Kurt screeched as Finn turned green.

"Dude, that's my brother, like, that's just gross," Finn mumbled as he grabbed the cheesecake and backed away.

"Aww, where are you going? I was just getting started! Besides we have yet to be properly introduced. I recognize you from Regionals this year and last year, but your name is?"

"Uh, I'm Finn," Finn said awkwardly.

"Sebastian." He stuck out a hand, which Finn shook awkwardly.

"Uh...can I go now?" Finn said quietly.

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Yes, Finn. I'll have a word with you in the hall first, though." He shot a glare over his shoulder as he followed Finn out of the kitchen.

"Hey, I'm not...sleeping with Sebastian or anything," he said awkwardly, needing Finn to understand.

Finn blushed. "I mean...Kurt...he's wearing your clothes and stuff. I mean like, I don't care if you dudes are having sex, because I'm totally down with dude sex now but like, you just broke up with Blaine."

"It's been weeks," Kurt pointed out. "You and Puck run between girls every other day. "

Finn shrugged. "That's cause we're us. You're like, different. Smarter, I guess? And you have more feelings. I mean I don't care if you do stuff just, like, I don't want you to be sad?"

Kurt smiled, his insides warming. Finn could be a little dumb sometimes, but he did mean well. "I appreciate that, Finn." He hugged Finn as best as he could with a cheesecake between them. "But uh...could you not mention this to Rachel? I'd really appreciate it."

Finn's eyebrows shot up. "So you  _are_ getting it on with him? Do you have a thing for Warblers or something?"

" _Finn!"_ Kurt exclaimed. "No, oh my  _god._ I ran into him, we went hiking and then got caught in the rain, so he's borrowing my clothes while his are in the dryer and I made dinner and that's...all...that's going on," he sort of lied.

"Whatever bro, you totally wouldn't let him drag you hiking if you didn't like him. And it's super obvious that he likes you. Just keep it down, 'kay?" and with that, Finn was padding down the hall with cheesecake and a smile.

Kurt stared after him, surprised. Finn could be oddly perceptive when he wanted to be.

He and Sebastian cleared the dishes and went back up to Kurt's room, presumably to watch movies on Kurt's laptop. However , the moment they were both sitting on the bed, Sebastian reached for Kurt, attacking his lips desperately.

Kurt, for his part, did not complain, even when Sebastian's hand slid under his shirt and nails raked up and down his abdomen. This was going fast, much faster than anything ever had with Blaine, but it felt  _right,_ even with all the things unsaid between them _._ He didn't need candles, romance and love declarations to want to do  _this_ with Sebastian. Even though this wasn't what he'd thought it would be like, Kurt was sure his dad's 'you matter' speech wasn't going to waste because he'd never wanted someone or something more in his entire life. It didn't even matter than he'd only just realized how fond he'd grown of Sebastian... and right now he  _needed_ him. Everything else? He could figure that out later.

Kurt tugged at Sebastian's shirt (well, Kurt's shirt, but this was no time to be splitting hairs over small matters). "Off," he gasped. "Wanna see you again."

"Mmm, okay…" Sebastian pulled back for a moment and Kurt was blown away by Sebastian's eyes, dark and full of heat directed straight at him. He let out a soft sigh of pleasure when Sebastian's deliciously muscled torso came into view and pushed him back with a surprising amount of force until he was on the bed.

"Kurt, babe, what are you doing?" Sebastian gasped, watching hungrily as Kurt took off his shirt and crawled over him.

"Want you,  _please."_ Kurt's was so flushed, his heart beating so fast that he didn't even care that Sebastian had called him 'babe', something he normally would have found extremely irritating.

Sebastian looked at him sharply. "What…what does that mean? You want me to fuck you?"

Kurt blushed. "Uh….maybe? I don't know, I just…God, I  _want_ ," he said helplessly, suddenly hyper-aware of how his skin was hot all over, desperate to be touched.

Sebastian hummed thoughtfully, eyes narrowing slightly. "Take off your pants, Kurt."

"Does that mean we're going to…to…" Kurt blushed and looked away. "You know."

"No, babe, I don't," Sebastian teased. "Say it."

"Sebastian…come on," Kurt whined, hiding his face in his hands a little. This is was so ridiculously unfair, he was perfectly sure that Sebastian knew precisely what Kurt was asking him.

"No, Kurt,  _you_ come on. I just wanna hear you say it," he begged. He pulled Kurt's hands away from his face and kissed each palm. "Look at me."

Kurt sighed in defeat, then took a deep breath to calm himself. "I was asking…if…you were going to…" Kurt paused, bit his lip and looked down,"  _fuck_ me." He'd gotten the words out, but it would take a little more time before he could look Sebastian straight in the eyes and say things like that, no matter how much he wanted them.

"Was that so hard?" Sebastian's eyes seemed to be even darker now, and the pure want reflected in them made Kurt dizzy. There was something so incredible about knowing that someone else wanted him in this way, wanted him just as much as he wanted them.

Kurt nodded. "You're a terrible human being." He was smiling in spite of what he'd just said.

"You like me anyway," Sebastian said, not refuting Kurt's statement. "Now take off your pants. I'm taking mine off too, and no, we're not fucking. Not tonight anyway—I want to wait to do that."

Even though a huge part of Kurt wanted to throw caution to the wind and jump straight into everything, he knew that Sebastian was probably right, especially since they still had a million things to talk about. "Alright. Just my pants or…underwear too?"

Sebastian shrugged. "You can do it either way, but….I think it feels so much better skin to skin."

"It being…what, exactly?"

Sebastian rose an eyebrow. "You don't know?" He grabbed Kurt's hips and pushed up with his own.

Kurt jolted. "Oh," he squeaked. "That feels… _awesome."_

"And it'll feel even better bare," Sebastian whispered, "So come on and get naked with me."

Kurt nodded, rolling off and eagerly shedding his clothes while Sebastian did the same. He hesitated to climb back on top, though. "So, uhm..." Kurt said awkwardly, blushing a little.

Sebastian just smiled and patted the bed beside him, rolling onto his side and waiting patiently for Kurt to face him. "You're cute," Sebastian said fondly before leaning in to kiss Kurt, lightly at first, slowly deepening the kiss until Kurt forgot all about being nervous and what he should do. The jarring press of Sebastian's hard cock into his hip brought him right back into the moment. "Oh," Kurt mumbled. "You're hard." He felt a little dumb for saying that, because  _of course_ Sebastian was, but he was still amazed that someone  _wanted_ him, and now the physical proof was pressing hot against his body.

Sebastian smiled against his lips and snaked a hand down Kurt's torso, palming his cock lightly. "And so are you. Wanna do something about it?"

"Yes," Kurt whimpered. "Please."

"You want it so bad," Sebastian whispered, not giving Kurt time to answer before rolling his hips down, his cock sliding along Kurt's.

Kurt felt like he was outside of his body and had never been more connected to it at the same time. The dry friction of their cocks rubbing together had to be the most incredible thing he had  _ever_ felt and he whimpered when it stopped suddenly. He opened eyes that he hadn't realized were closed to demand an explanation.

"Kurt," Sebastian gasped. "Do you have any lube or anything?"

Kurt blushed, silently berating himself for blushing when he was  _naked_ with someone. "Uhm...no. Is that bad? And I thought we weren't going to...do that."

Sebastian smiled. "I need to work on your sexual education, there's a million other things you can do with lube besides fuck." He moved back a little, his knees bending and moving up the bed so that he was straddling Kurt's body instead of being flush on top of him.

"What are you talking about?" Kurt whined, fidgeting restlessly. "Please, why did you stop, it felt  _so_ good, Sebastian."

Sebastian's eyes grew dark. "Give me your hand, Kurt."

Kurt pouted. "I don't want you to touch my  _hand_ _._ Please, just, I need you,  _please,"_ he begged. He never thought he'd be here, under Sebastian Smythe, literally begging for more, but nothing had ever felt so right.

"I just want to make it good for you. I promise you won't die in the next twenty seconds. Now give me your hand."

Kurt thrust his hand up and Sebastian grabbed it, turning it over and gripping Kurt by the wrist as he proceeded to lick and suck over his hand, getting it wet in way Kurt would have found utterly disgusting in any other sense.

"Touch yourself," Sebastian ordered.

Kurt flushed even more, faltering and looking to the side as he slipped his wet hand down to his own cock and gripped himself. Shyness was forgotten as he moved his hand up and down, the friction decreasing and feeling  _amazing_ and  _now_  he knew why Sebastian wanted to stop for this. Sebastian did the same for himself, making quick work of getting his hand, then his cock slick with spit before leaning down and kissing Kurt deep. One of Sebastian's hands kept him hovering over Kurt's body while the other circled loosely around their cocks, keeping them lined up as they slid against each other.

Kurt looked down between them and groaned at the sight of them together. "Oh  _god,"_ he moaned, feeling heat rush low in his stomach and body teetering close to orgasm. "Seb,  _fuck_ , please, I"m gonna... I, I..." Kurt knew he wasn't making any sense, that he was panting loudly against Sebastian's mouth instead of kissing him but he didn't care anymore considering that this had to be the best he'd ever felt.

"You almost there, babe?" Sebastian whispered in his ear, and Kurt shivered at the light tickling sensation of air.

"Mmmm," Kurt answered, head pressing back into the pillow as he dug in with his whole body and tried to push up harder, faster.

"Then do it," Sebastian growled. "Come for me, Kurt."

Distantly, he registered Sebastian's orgasm and the hot stickiness between them, but he sort of felt like he'd had the most amazing experience of his life and nothing else was close to being on his radar other than the pounding in his heart, the tingling aftershocks shooting through his body as he tried to remember what breathing was. He rolled over and threw a hand over his eyes. "Fuck that was amazing," he breathed. " _You're_  amazing, I just... _God,_ I didn't know it was gonna be like  _that,"_ Kurt said honestly. He suddenly felt sticky, realized that his stomach was covered in cooling come...which didn't seem as sexy anymore. "I'm all dirty."

"Want me to get you a towel from your bathroom?"

"Mhm," Kurt nodded, tiredness seeping into his bones from the mind-blowing orgasm he'd just had. He must have drifted off because he startled awake to the rough drag of a damp washcloth on his body.

"Sorry," Sebastian murmured. "I was hoping not to wake you."

"S'alright," Kurt mumbled sleepily, barely finding the energy to slip under the covers. "Can you turn off the light?" he asked.

The light clicked off and the bed dipped as Sebastian climbed in.

"This was an awesome night," Kurt mumbled, snuggling against Sebastian's warm body and falling asleep so quickly that he didn't hear Sebastian's reply.


	6. Chapter 6

Kurt awoke and the room felt so,  _so_ hot. He threw the covers off and heard a groan of displeasure, and his stomach swooped as he realized someone was in his bed and then-

Oh right. Sebastian. The night before. It all came back to him in a rush and Kurt was suddenly quite aware of that fact that he was half hard and naked and Sebastian was too. All of his rustling must have woken his bedmate because Sebastian grumbled and snuggled in closer.

"I'm cold," Sebastian mumbled, his voice hoarse.

"Is that so?" Kurt answered, turning to face him and boldly sliding a hand down Sebastian's naked chest.

Sebastian moaned. "Fuck, it's too early for this."

Kurt's hand paused over Sebastian's stomach. "Should I stop?"

Sebastian's eyes popped open. "Don't you dare."

Kurt laughed and leaned in for a kiss as he wrapped his hand around Sebastian's cock.  _Fuck._ He'd touched himself so many times but it wasn't anything like this. Sebastian's skin was so incredibly soft around the pulsing length of him as Kurt began to move his hand up and down.

Sebastian moaned loudly against Kurt's neck, tickling him with little puffs of air as Kurt started to move his hand faster.

"Oh  _God,_ fuck, Kurt, baby, I'm gonna come, fuck fuck  _fuck_ ," Sebastian chanted, pushing his cock faster into the circle of Kurt's fist as he came over it.

Kurt didn't know what made him do it, but he brought his hand up and licked tentatively at the glistening white stripes of come.

"Oh, God, Kurt you can't do that, that's not  _fair,"_ Sebastian whined, watching with hungry eyes as Kurt licked his hand clean.

"Why not?" Kurt asked between long licks up and down his fingers. "You don't like it?" He swallowed thickly, savoring the taste. "I thought you'd think it was hot."

"God, I do, Kurt, you have no idea."

"Yeah?" Kurt said breathily. "Maybe you should show me how hot you think it is. I'm sure you could show me a lot of things..."

Sebastian's face fell slightly, but it was gone and replaced with his usual dazzling smile before Kurt could place the look. In any case, the fact that Sebastian had sealed his lips over Kurt's and started licking the taste of his own come out of Kurt's mouth had completely overridden Kurt's ability to think properly. All he could think was that he wanted more,  _now._

"What do you want, baby?" Sebastian asked breathlessly.

Kurt realized he must have spoken that last bit aloud. "I...I don't know," he confessed, moaning as Sebastian nipped at his neck, kissing the places he'd marked yesterday. They were sore and the way Sebastian was sucking at them now almost hurt, but it still felt so, so good. Kurt definitely wasn't complaining.

"There are so many options," Sebastian murmured against Kurt's skin as he licked down the center of Kurt's chest. "I could wrap my hand around your cock and jerk you till you come all over yourself." Kurt's stomach jumped up, twisting hot and needy inside of him at the words and that fact that Sebastian had started to suck on one of his nipples the moment he'd finished speaking.

"I... _shit..._ I'd be okay with that," Kurt managed to say huskily as he fought not to grab Sebastian's head to keep him from moving because he'd never thought something like this would make him so desperately hot inside.

Sebastian pulled away with a wet noise, eyes flickering up to Kurt's as he kissed his way toward the other nipple. "I could suck your cock. I wasn't kidding when I told you I could take you all the way down my throat." He latched onto the other nipple while Kurt groaned loudly.

"That sounds alright, too," Kurt gasped out, amazed he was able to keep up this game when he was buzzing all over from Sebastian's mouth on him.

"You're so difficult," Sebastian grumbled, starting to kiss his way down to Kurt's abdomen. "I really want to finger and lick you open for me so I can fuck your hot little ass, but I'm not gonna do that this morning, not like this."

"L-lick me open?" Kurt stuttered. "People...do that?"

"God yes," Sebastian murmured. "It's fucking incredible, either way. It feels like heaven when someone else does it to you, and doing it to someone else is insanely hot because they just can't keep still, can't keep themselves together. God, I'd bet you'd make the prettiest sounds while I tongue fucked your ass..." Sebastian licked over Kurt's hipbones and it was just too much.

"Sebastian please, don't tease me anymore. I just, I need you, I need..."

"Tell me," Sebastian said as he kissed and nibbled his way to the other hip. "Tell me what you want me to do to you, Kurt. You did it last night, you can do it again."

Kurt shut his eyes and let himself fight it out. There was the part of him that  _desperately_ needed to come, and there was the part of him that was a little shy about said  _those_ kinds of things. But Sebastian was right...he'd done it once before, he could do it again. He took a deep breath and mumbled, "I want...you to blow me."

"What was that?"

"God, now you're just being an ass, and I hate you," Kurt whined, only half kidding.

Sebastian pulled his lips away from Kurt's skin and Kurt groaned at the loss. "If you hate me, I don't know if we should keep going."

"No!" Kurt said instantly, not even ashamed of how passionately he said it. "You know I was kidding, please, come back, don't stop touching me..."

"Mmm," Sebastian purred. "That's much, much better." He pressed a kiss just under Kurt's belly button. "I'd be content to just kiss your skin-you have such perfect, soft skin, Kurt." Sebastian made his way down, and Kurt's stomach tightened in anticipation as Sebastian nudged his legs apart, getting closer and closer to Kurt's straining cock...which he skipped in favor of kissing and sucking his way up Kurt's inner thigh.

"You are such a tease!" Kurt complained.

"It's not my fault I can't read your mind."

Kurt was dizzy with want, wanting Sebastian's mouth around him so bad that he no longer cared what he said or how loudly he said it. "Please," he begged, "I want you to suck me, I'm going to  _die_  if you don't..."

Sebastian chuckled at that. "I thought you were shy about saying things like that. Looks like I'm a bad influence on you."

"Shut up and get to it," Kurt said, with more confidence this time and a small smile gracing his face.

"Well that was very, very rude," Sebastian said before gently pinning Kurt's cock to his stomach with his palm and bending his head to lick and suck at Kurt's balls.

 _Holy shit._ **Fuck.** Kurt knew he kept thinking this, but, nothing had ever  _ever_ felt better than this. "This,  _unghhh,_ is so,  _oh God,_ amazing," Kurt moaned, half shouting by the end of his sentence. Clearly he was going to have to give up on talking because this just felt way too fucking good to think about doing anything more than begging for more.

Sebastian licked a stripe up the center of Kurt's dick before taking Kurt into his mouth. Kurt gasped loudly at the heat of it, how  _wet_ Sebastian's mouth was, how it felt like Sebastian was trying to suck his soul out through his cock and if it felt like this, then Kurt was all too happy to let him try.

"Oh , _fuck_ ," he whispered, looking down to find Sebastian looking up at him.

He pulled off, stroking Kurt and asking, "You alright there, killer?" The little fucker was  _winking_ at him. Kurt almost didn't care that Sebastian was being so smug-when it came to this he definitely had a right to be.

"Are you fucking serious?" Kurt grumbled. "Please, please don't stop I've never been more okay ever just, please go back to sucking me. You're like  _amazing_ at it," he begged, desperate for Sebastian to be convinced that Kurt was very much okay with this and just wanted it to continue.

Sebastian took him in again, tapping on Kurt's thigh to get his attention. They locked eyes and Kurt watched in amazement and something like disbelief as Sebastian relaxed and took the entirety of Kurt's cock down his throat.

"Ohmygod ohmy _god oh my god,"_ he chanted, hands fisting in Sebastian's hair and hips bumping up of their own volition. Then he realized what he'd done and heard himself apologizing over and over again. Apparently he wasn't capable of big sentences that involved more than one phrase anymore.

" _Don't be sorry_ ," Sebastian mumbled in French as he pressed soft kisses up the side of Kurt's dick. " _I want you to. Fuck my mouth. Use me however you want-I can take it._ "

Kurt was pretty sure the sound of Sebastian speaking those kinds of things to him in French at a moment like this was enough to make him come, but miraculously, he managed to keep his orgasm at bay as Sebastian began to suck him down again. He remembered what Sebastian said and ran his hands over Sebastian's hair lightly for a moment before gripping a little tighter and allowing himself to push forward as Sebastian swallowed around him. Kurt nearly screamed as he came down Sebastian's throat, the sound of his moaning echoing obscenely loudly in the room.

Sebastian slid off of him, smiling a little and licked his lips. "Looks like you  _are_ a screamer. Your poor brother is probably traumatized."

"Oh no, _"_ Kurt whined, sitting up in a daze. "Oh God, this is  _so_ mortifying. Finn  _had_ to have heard. I'm so glad my parents are out of town..."

Sebastian, patted his thigh lightly and slid up the bed. "Hey, it's just a testament to my skills, I guess. Don't be embarrassed."

"You're only saying that because you don't  _live_ here." He rolled his eyes at Sebastian's smug smile. "Also. You are not allowed to call me 'killer' in bed. So don't ever do it again."

Sebastian snorted. "Whatever,  _killer."_

"You're such a jerk," Kurt murmured as he leaned against Sebastian's shoulder. A long moment passed, and Kurt remembered that there was something that he really needed to do. "So...I really hope this isn't really bad timing, but...I need to know something, Sebastian."

"Yeah?"

"What...what are these rules you keep talking about?"

Sebastian groaned and sank back into the bed. "I just...I don't...I've been so scared of...doing anything with you because...because I want...Fuck, I can't talk about this, I can't talk about this right now." He rolled away and got out of the bed.

"Where are you going?" Kurt asked, unsure of how to read the tone of Sebastian's voice, the change in his eyes, the way he wouldn't really look at Kurt anymore.

"I just...I need to go." Sebastian started gathering up the clothes he'd borrowed and dressing himself quickly.

"What?" Kurt exclaimed. "But I thought we were going to-"

"Well, plans change," Sebastian spat out.

"Sebastian, no, wait, just talk to me for a second! I don't know what's going on in your head," Kurt pleaded.

"I just can't do this right now, Kurt." Then Sebastian turned and was walking away from him. Kurt wanted to throw something on and run after him-but he didn't know what he'd say because he had no idea where things had gone wrong. So he turned over, pressed his face into the pillow and cried.


	7. Chapter 7

The more Kurt thought about it, the angrier he got. How  _dare_ Sebastian do all of those things with him, make him feel like it meant something and then just  _leave?_ Kurt felt...used and betrayed, especially when the weekend went by and Sebastian wouldn't answer his texts or return his calls. He'd stopped trying after Wednesday-it was too painful to keep texting Sebastian when he clearly wasn't going to respond. Kurt tried to think of what he could have possibly done wrong, and didn't have any idea. Even so, it still  _hurt._ That he trusted Sebastian enough to let him touch his body and then Sebastian just left him, like he was just another notch in the bedpost. Kurt had been sure it meant so much more than that, Sebastian had  _said_ it meant more than that. Had it all just been things Sebastian said to get a pathetic virgin in his bed? It just didn't add up-they'd been friends, as far as Kurt was concerned, and it didn't seem like Sebastian would invest all that energy just to fool around with Kurt. They hadn't even worked their way up to the main event, so that theory definitely didn't make sense.

No, somehow he'd hurt Sebastian, just as surely as Sebastian had hurt him. If only he knew what he'd done wrong because Kurt wanted to fix it...so he could be with Sebastian. Although he'd enjoyed his sweet relationship dynamic with Blaine, he enjoyed how Sebastian always challenged him, how they combined razor sharp wit with a playful sexual tension that drove them both crazy in so many ways. He loved how Sebastian was always surprising him with little glimpses into a sweeter version of himself and Kurt wanted to break down all those walls and know all there was to know. If he was being honest with himself, he'd been falling in love with Sebastian little by little over the past few weeks. The way he was torn up over missing Sebastian and whatever the hell had happened with them last weekend told Kurt everything he needed to know, even if he wasn't quite ready to say it to himself. He was falling in love with the boy he used to hate.

 

* * *

 

He was starting to get desperate. It had been a week and a half and he'd broken his self-promise not to try to talk to Sebastian. Still, no reply to his text messages, phone calls or anything else, although the clothes that Sebastian had run off in had ended up in a box on the doorstep. He was starting to feel a little pathetic, pathetic enough that he was going to ask Noah Puckerman for advice.

"Hey, Puck, can I talk to you for a second?" Kurt asked awkwardly after Glee practice one day.

"Yeah, I guess I could do that. Sup, Hummel?"

"Uhm..." He looked around at their teammates, all of whom were staring at them out of the corners of their eyes. Kurt and Puck rarely spoke to each other outside of official club business or the occasional jibe. "Like, in private?"

"Whoa whoa  _whoa,"_ Puck said a little too loudly. "Look, I'm totally flattered, but-"

"Shut  _up!"_ Kurt hissed. "I do not have a  _crush_ on you I just...I need your advice about something."

"Oh. Okay. That's rad. I'll walk you out to your car." They walked out of the auditorium, and Kurt tried to ignore everyone's eyes on them. "So, why me? Why not Berry or girl Chang?" Puck asked as they walked out of the auditorium.

Kurt blushed. "This is more your area of expertise."

Puck stopped short. "Are you getting some already?" He put up a hand for Kurt to high five. He did so gingerly.

"Anyway. Look. I...there's this guy, and we were sort of friends for a long time, then I broke up with Blaine and things started to move in a more physical direction and...well, we did some  _stuff_ and then he freaked out and left and it's been over a week and he won't talk to me."

Puck smirked. "Yeah, I heard about your wild night of gay sex. I just didn't believe it was true until now."

It was Kurt's turn to stop short. " _What?_ From who?"

"Finn, duh. He was totally traumatized by all that noise you were making. So I take it the sex was good? Top or bottom?"

"Puck!" Kurt hissed, scandalized. "We didn't...do  _that,_ but yeah, okay, it was...really great."

"So you wanna know why he freaked out, yeah? That's why you came to me? I don't know if I can help, I don't really do feelings, dude. I'm more of a pump 'em and dump 'em kinda guy."

"Well...so is he. Mostly."

"Then that's probably your answer. He got what he wanted and he's done. Sorry to break it to you but that's probably what's up."

Kurt bit his lip. "Maybe. But...he said things...I feel like it meant more than that. I really think he feels the same way I do. He kept saying he wanted more than sex from me. He said he had made all these promises to keep his hands off of me and that he didn't just want to be the rebound guy. Why would he say all of that if he was just gonna disappear after we...you know?"

Puck ran a hand over his face. "So...what did you say whenever he kinda said he had feelings for you...?"

Kurt thought back, and then sighed. "Nothing really? He'd always change the subject and not want to talk about it?"

Puck's eyebrows shot up. "Dude. That's it right there. Did you  _ever_ say you even liked him?"

Kurt thought back again. "I...well...no, not in so many words, I guess. We just...flirted a lot. But I wouldn't let him do all those things with me if I didn't...he's got to know that, right?"

Puck clapped him on the back and Kurt only barely stopped himself from flying. "Nah, man, I don't think he does. What was the last thing you said before he left?"

"Well, fuck," Kurt breathed. "I...uhm...we'd just, you know, finished, and I tried to talk to him about the whole "not touching me" thing and then he just freaked out and left."

Puck shrugged. "Sounds to me like he's scared."

Kurt laughed bitterly. "Of  _what_?"

"Losing you,  _duh._ That's what I'd think anyway. That it was pointless telling you everything since you never said you liked him in the first place. For all he knows all you wanted was a good fuck and you already got it, so why bother getting into all that emotional shit? No point in making things suck for yourself more than they already do."

Kurt leaned against the door of his car and sighed. "Thanks, Puck. You've been...helpful."

Puck shrugged. "It's nothing. Anything to help my boy out."

Kurt rolled his eyes, but smiled anyway as he awkwardly returned Puck's fist bump, climbed into his car and headed home.

 

* * *

 

Kurt felt a bit like a stalker as he leaned against the railing at the bottom of the steps that led up the front door of Dalton. The bell rang and it wasn't long before boys in blazers started to pour out of the doors and down the stairs. Kurt pushed up his sun glasses and tapped his fingers along the railing impatiently, waiting for Sebastian to come out. A good fifteen minutes after the initial rush of boys dying to get out of school trailed off, Sebastian finally appeared.

"Sebastian!" Kurt called as Sebastian descended, clearly not seeing him and about to walk past him.

Sebastian froze, turning to Kurt. "Kurt? What are you doing here?"

Kurt approached him cautiously. "I...wanted to see you."

"Yeah, well-"

"Sebastian,  _please,"_ Kurt begged.

"Kurt, I really,  _really,_ don't want to talk to you."

Kurt sighed heavily, switching to plan B. "Well, you left your clothes at my house. They're in my car. Will you please at least come and get them? I don't know where you live, so I couldn't just bring them to you."

"Yeah. Sorry it took me so long to get them back to you, I guess."

Kurt shook his head. "Don't worry about it. Anyway, do you want your stuff back?" he said lightly.

Sebastian seemed somewhat bewildered by Kurt's tone of voice, and his presence in general. "Uhm...fine. Fine, I'll come with you and then...and then you'll go?"

Kurt neither confirmed nor denied that, but started walking towards his Navigator. "How have you been?" he tried.

Sebastian scoffed. "Fine, I guess."

"Okay. I...I missed you," Kurt admitted.

Sebastian made an angry, wounded little noise. "Don't do that. It was a one time thing."

"Why?" Kurt countered. "It's true. I have missed you so much. I missed the way you tease me, all of your snarky comments, the way you look at me, the way your voice sounds, the way you touched me, touching you. I know it was just once, but...I missed you."

"Kurt," Sebastian whispered brokenly. "Please. Just...give me my things and let it go. Let  _me_ go. It can't be more than it was."

They were to the car and Kurt took Sebastian's hand, gripping tight when Sebastian tried to pull away. "I'm not going to let you go, Sebastian. You can pretend you only wanted it to happen once but we both know that's a lie. Look at me, there's something...there's something I want to tell you."

Sebastian brought his eyes up from the ground and Kurt took a deep breath. "This isn't how I planned it, but...look, I...really like you. A  _lot._ So, no, I'm not just letting this go like it doesn't mean anything because we both know it does."

Sebastian's jaw dropped slightly, and his eyes went comically wide. If Kurt weren't so goddamn nervous about Sebastian's response, he would have laughed.

"Whoa. Uhm. Wow. I...me, too. I kinda already said that, but...yeah." Again, if this weren't such a serious moment, Kurt would be amused at how not together Sebastian was at the moment.

Kurt let out a shaky breath. "So... _now,_ will you talk to me? I, uh...had more to say than that."

"You kidding?" Sebastian laughed. "What could be better than that?"

"You can find out." Kurt grinned and wrapped Sebastian up in a big, warm hug. "Where do you wanna go, Bas?"

"Bas? That's a new one."

"You like it," Kurt teased.

"Mhm, I do," Sebastian hummed. "No one's home...you wanna come over?"

Kurt nodded, biting his lip. "I'll follow you over, alright? So I can go home after without you having to come back here to get my car."

"Sounds like a plan, Kurtiekins."

Kurt narrowed his eyes. "You couldn't just let us have a nice moment, could you!?" he cried in exasperation, punching Sebastian's arm as he laughed and got in his car.

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is looooong but I couldn't break it up anywhere. Somehow, I dont think anyone will mind. ;) ;) This is where this fic REALLY earns its explicit rating. ;) I don't think there's anything in here the requires a warning, but if you see something, please, let me know!

The minute they were in the house, Sebastian pressed him against the door and kissed him hard. "God, I've missed you so much," he whispered.

"Mmmm," Kurt moaned as Sebastian grabbed his hands and pinned them to the door. "Me too, oh, I...ohhhh  _fuck_!" Sebastian was nipping at his neck and grinding his hips into Kurt's. This was getting way out of hand. Kurt struggled to free his hands and Sebastian pulled back.

"Something wrong?" Sebastian asked.

"No, this is so good, so  _hot,_ but uhm,...I wanted to talk to you, remember?"

Sebastian smiled crookedly and slid one of his hands down Kurt's chest. "Can't I convince you to save it for later?"

Kurt bit his lip. "Don't think I don't want to, but I need you to know I'm not here just for the sex."

"I know that. You told me you have feelings for me, too. I don't need anything else, babe."

Kurt was so tempted to give in and say yes, but he thought of those brief flashes of pain on Sebastian's face and placed his hands on Sebastian's chest. "But I do. There's things I need to know about. You said and did all these things that really confused me, and I need to know what's going on in your head because I want to do this right."

"Fuck," Sebastian swore, pulling back and running his hands through his hair. "Alright. Come upstairs with me?"

Kurt rose an eyebrow. "Uhm...aren't we supposed to be talking?"

Sebastian shrugged. "We will. Just wanted to be comfortable."

"Okay," Kurt agreed, following Sebastian up the stairs.

"So...talk," Kurt said awkwardly after a moment. "Tell me what you were thinking when you just...walked out on me. When you wouldn't talk to me."

Sebastian winced. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry...I'm  _sorry_ _,"_ he said earnestly.

Kurt waved him off. "I know, Bas. So just tell me what I did wrong."

Sebastian sighed heavily. "It's not that you...did anything, I just...you never said anything when I said that I liked you. You flirted with me, but you never...you never said anything back, not really. So I just thought...God, everyone just wants to have sex with me and I thought...I thought that's why you never said anything and so...I thought you just wanted sex. I thought you were just using me like everyone else I've ever known. And you know what, I didn't even care because...I liked you so much. That's why I didn't want to touch you in the first place. I didn't want to lose you sooner than I had to. And then when I did...I guess I just got scared."

Kurt's heart sank-Puck had been completely and totally right. "Sebastian..." He cupped Sebastian's cheek and turned Sebastian's head so that he could look at him. "Don't you know me better than that?" he asked gently.

Sebastian looked away. "I just...I'm...you drive me  _crazy!"_

Kurt didn't quite know what to do with that. "Uh..."

"Wait, just...that's not what I meant. I mean, I...I really like you too. I...I...have feelings that I told myself I wouldn't let myself feel ever. Because...its just complicated and messy and it feels like shit and I thought I was ready for it because I've never wanted anyone more than I want you, but I don't know if I can do this and..." Sebastian jerked away, breathing in deep shuddering breaths with his eyes shut tight.

Kurt knew Sebastian was trying not to cry and it made his heart ache. "Sebastian..." he said softly. "It's okay if you're scared. Don't you think I feel the same way?"

"It's just...you're so...good. And I'm not." Sebastian whispered. "There's got to be a reason why no one ever really wanted me."

"What?" Kurt gasped, a cold shock running through him. "How could you say that?"

"You...you're so...you have so much to give and I don't know why you'd waste it on me. I ruin everything I touch, don't you know that?"

Kurt felt like his jaw was on the floor. "Sebastian, stop. You're  _incredible._ Forget what everyone else wants- _I_ want you.I've never felt so much for one person in my whole life. It's like you're the only thing in the room when we're together, and when we're not I can't stop thinking about you. You're so...god, you're kind of infuriating but I love that about you." Sebastian chuckled a little, and Kurt felt a rush of hope. "You're so freaking  _bold..._ the things you said to me in the coffee shop? Something tells me that if you hadn't known French, you'd have said them in English, but that's how fucking shameless and ballsy you are. And you're...really fucking hot-I know that's a touchy subject for you but I...I'm always painfully aware of how absolutely  _amazing_ you look. And don't get me started on the sex. Holy.  _Shit._ "

Sebastian burst out laughing at that. "Kurt...you're the one who's amazing."

Kurt blushed. "How about we just agree to be amazing together?"

Sebastian smiled, and leaned in. "I think I can work with that." He fell back on the bed and pulled Kurt down with him until they were lying side by side, facing one another.

They didn't say anything more as they started to touch one another, hands skimming lightly over bare arms, a thumb stroking across a cheek, fingers trailing down a back, fingers tracing over a smile. It was Kurt who gave in and pressed his lips to Sebastian's first. Sebastian made a low, happy noise as he tightened his arms around Kurt's body and slid a thigh between Kurt's. Kurt had thought about being intimate with Sebastian again, but he realized with a sudden start that he'd never thought about actual intimacy-he'd never thought about this, soft touches and sweet kisses that ended in smiles with Sebastian and gazing into his eyes. This was so much better than any of the deliciously naughty things he'd imagined with his hand around his cock in the middle of the night.

"Sebastian..." he whispered. "How much time do we have?"

Sebastian pulled back. " Hours," he murmured against Kurt's lips. "Why?"

Kurt took a deep breath, steeling himself. "I want to...have sex. Like...all the way. With you. If that's...if you want to. I know it's a big deal for you with me. I swear I'm not going to leave you over this. You don't have to, I just  _god_ I want to be with you so much, I've been dreaming about it for months and I just...," he rushed out, blushing by the end.

"Mmm,  _Kurt,"_ Sebastian groaned. "You don't have to prove anything, I can wait as long as you want."

"Well, I think I've waited long enough," Kurt said breathily. " _I need you, Sebastian. Please."_

Sebastian's eyes fluttered shut and he swallowed hard. "Okay. What...what do you want to do?"

Kurt blushed as his late night fantasies flashed through his mind. " _You can do anything you want to me."_

Sebastian groaned loudly and his fingers tightened in the fabric of Kurt's shirt. "That is  **not** fair, Kurt. You can't say things like that to me in fucking  _French._ And as hot as that is, I'm not going to let you get away with that, babe. Tell me what you want."

Kurt hid his face in Sebastian's shoulder, making a little noise of frustration.

Sebastian fisted his hand in the back of Kurt's hair, pulling him up and away so that they were face to face. "Did you think about me while we were apart?" he demanded in a smooth voice that made Kurt's cock swell with want.

Kurt nodded, biting his lip.

"Did you touch yourself?" Sebastian continued.

Another nod, and Kurt felt himself getting hot and flushed all over.

"And what were you thinking about? Were you watching porn? Thinking about some faceless guy?"

"N-no," Kurt stuttered. "Just you, only you."

"Tell me," Sebastian commanded and force behind his words sent shivers down Kurt's spine. "Tell me what you thought about."

"I thought about..." Kurt wasn't sure he could even  _say_ it, especially not in English, so he tried his best in stuttering, awkward French. " _I thought about you fucking me."_

Sebastian's eyes slid shut and Kurt took it to mean that Sebastian was more than okay with that. "That wasn't so hard, now was it?" He kissed Kurt lightly on the lips, silently soothing Kurt's mild embarrassment. "You want to know what I think about when I think about you?"

Kurt nodded enthusiastically, heart racing as he waited for Sebastian to gather his thoughts. "I want you under me, falling apart, cursing and moaning while I ride your cock so hard the bed is shaking."

The sudden, but very clear vision of Sebastian grinding on top of him made Kurt groan deep in his chest, and he  _wanted_ it. "I...you want me to fuck you?" Even though he definitely wasn't complaining, Kurt had always taken Sebastian for the sort of guy that wouldn't want to bottom for anyone. He was very glad to be wrong.

"Oh no, baby. Your cock might be in my ass but I'm definitely going to be the one fucking you." Kurt had always liked Sebastian's voice, had always gotten a little hot under the collar when Sebastian teased him or flirted with him, but something was different now. There was no playfulness under the desire, Sebastian's words were a promise Kurt couldn't wait for him to fulfill.

"Do you want me to?" Sebastian whispered, moving closer. "I've been thinking about your cock filling me up for weeks now."

"Yes," Kurt breathed, moving his hands to his buttons. For some reason, the act required more courage than anything he had ever done. It made his stomach flutter with nervousness, a hint of fear of the unknown, but he'd never felt less like running in his entire life. It wasn't long before he stood naked before an equally naked Sebastian. "What now?"

"If you want...we can do exactly what I just talked about. Do you want it? Really want it? I'm not asking to tease, I need to know that this is real for you like it is for me. I need to know this isn't about...anything but you and me." Sebastian's voice was shaking by the end, and Kurt felt a rush of tenderness wash over him. He was so amazed by the way that Sebastian was so willing to be open and vulnerable with Kurt in a way that Kurt knew he'd never been before.

Kurt looked at Sebastian, feeling like he was seeing him naked and vulnerable in a way that had absolutely nothing to do with the miles of tanned, beautiful skin he'd seen before. "Yes. I want you, I want to do this," he said confidently. "I want everything."

Sebastian nodded, and Kurt wondered if it was because he was, for once, at a loss for words. He crawled to the edge of the bed, and Kurt tried and failed not to ogle Sebastian's gorgeous body as he twisted to dig lube and condoms from the bedside table drawer.

Sebastian was in front of him now, they were kneeling in front of each other, Sebastian's hand moving to Kurt's arm and sliding up to the back of his neck. Kurt thought it was to bring him in for a kiss, and let his eyes fall shut , leaning in a little. His eyes fluttered open when instead of Sebastian's lips, he felt the pads of his fingers, stopping Kurt's movement forward. Kurt's eyebrows knitted together in confusion.

Sebastian just smiled, pressing a kiss to the top of Kurt's forehead. Kurt's heart clenched in his chest. He wondered if it was because Sebastian felt the same thing that Kurt did, that there was so much more between them than what they'd said.

Kurt thought it might be something like love, but he knew they barely knew each other for all that they knew a million things about one another. He knew now wasn't the time to say it, but he felt that he might be more than just a little love with Sebastian, but he didn't want to make promises he wasn't yet certain he could keep, not with everything he knew about Sebastian. Being in love was one thing, love was something else. People in love could fall out of love quite easily-but people who loved each other? That lasted. And Kurt was starting to think he wanted this to last. He also knew this so wasn't the time to talk or think about it, not with Sebastian touching him so slowly that it made his skin tingle all over.

Sebastian pulled away and settled back onto the bed. Kurt straddled Sebastian's hips, bracketing Sebastian's head with his hands, bending down to kiss him. "So, I think I know how this next part goes," he said playfully against Sebastian's lips.

Sebastian grinned, that loopy little half grin that makes Kurt's stomach swoop every time it appeared. "Then get to it, killer."

"You aren't allowed to call me 'killer' in bed, Sebastian. We've already been over this. I tolerate it the rest of the time because I understand that you have a problem, but I will not tolerate it in the bedroom, do I make myself perfectly clear? Three strikes and you're out, you understand?" Kurt said sternly as he reached for the lube.

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "Does Kurtiekins work better for you?"

Kurt giggled. "You're so ridiculous. But if you don't stop, you're going to ruin all of your chances of getting laid today."

Sebastian shut his mouth immediately, pantomiming the action of zipping his lips shut. It made Kurt's smile even wider. "Well, I don't think I want you to keep your mouth completely shut," he said as he moved down Sebastian's body a little so that he could reach between Sebastian's legs. "There are some sounds I definitely want to hear."

Kurt wrapped his hand around Sebastian's cock, loving the quiet little gasp that Sebastian made as he began to move up and down slowly. "Sounds like that."

Sebastian nodded. "'Kay. As much as I love the way your hand feels on my cock, I'm pretty sure I'm going to die if you don't get your fingers in my ass."

Kurt rested his forehead against Sebastian's shoulder, shaking a little as he tried to keep himself from laughing aloud.

"Hey, I'm being perfectly serious. I want you to finger my ass so I can ride you into the mattress," Sebastian said. "Even if you can't handle me saying 'dirty' words."

"I-I so can," Kurt said between giggles.

"Uh-huh," Sebastian said in disbelief. "You giggle everytime I say ass. Or cock. You're okay with fuck, I'll give you that, but you still blush adorably when you say it."

"Well...it's not like i'm used to saying that kind of stuff."

"Then I guess we have to change that. Repeat after me. Cock."

Kurt lifted his head, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm being perfectly serious, "Sebastian said, his eyes alight with amusement. "Cock!" he practically yelled, the word echoing through the room.

Kurt bit his lip, trying not to prove Sebastian's earlier statement true.

"We are so not having sex until you indulge me," Sebastian said seriously. "Your turn."

"This is so stupid," Kurt muttered.

Sebastian put his hands behind his head and stared up at Kurt expectantly.

"Oh my god, I don't even know why I like you anymore. This is seriously not how envisioned my first time," Kurt grumbled. Then he cleared his throat. "Fine. I'll do it." He took a deep breath, feeling ridiculous and awkward as he said, "Cock," his voice shaking.

"Well, you said it, Sebastian said smugly, "But it was barely audible. And a little more confidence this time-like you really mean it."

"Are you fucking serious?" Kurt cried, exasperated. " _Fine._ Cock, cock, cock, COCK!" he said, yelling the last one, raising an eyebrow at Sebastian, who burst out into laughter.

Kurt smacked his shoulder. "You  _ass."_

Sebastian giggled. "I didn't think you were going to do it, oh my  _god."_

Kurt buried his face in the crook of Sebastian's neck. "I hate you."

"Aww, baby, no you don't. I'll make it up to you."

Kurt scoffed. "I don't think that's possible at this point. You've basically cockblocked yourself. Also, I'd like you to notice my usage of the word "cock" without laughing." He pretend like he was moving off the bed, squeaking when Sebastian reached for him, pinning him to the bed on his back.

"Oh, I promise I can make you forget all about it," Sebastian murmured, sliding down Kurt's body and taking Kurt's cock deep into his mouth before he had time to process what was going on.

"Oh, mmmm, that feels so good, but please stop," Kurt begged after a moment.

Sebastian pulled away with an obscenely loud pop. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, it's just, there's no way in hell I'm gonna last if you don't stop."

Sebastian grinned at him. "I know you have excellent recovery time, so that's not going to be a problem," he said smugly, taking Kurt back into his mouth.

Kurt was in heaven-Sebastian's mouth was even better than he remembered, a hot wet pressure that was threatening to tear him apart. "Oh God, I'm gonna come," he moaned, tugging at Sebastian's hair, because it was totally rude to come down someone's throat without prior authorization or something right?

Sebastian's eyes flickered upwards just as Kurt looked down at him, and Kurt could see it in his eyes, the way Sebastian was already starting to swallow around Kurt's pulsing cock that he wanted Kurt to come in his mouth. And when Sebastian sunk all the way down, sucking hard, Kurt did.

" _Fuck,"_ Kurt breathed. "I...God, you're just so..."

"I prefer to be called Sebastian."

Kurt was slightly confused at first then gently smacked the side of Sebastian's head when he got it. "You are so incredibly lame. And arrogant. I don't know what I'm going to do with you."

"Well," Sebastian said, sitting up and lying next to Kurt on the bed, "I seem to recall something about you getting me ready so I can ride you into the mattress."

Kurt let out a low groan and turned his head to the side, kissing Sebastian softly. He sat up, kneeling on the bed next to Sebastian and grabbed the lube they'd forgotten about earlier. "So do I just..." he asked as he uncapped the tube and spread some on his finger, being careful not to drip any onto the sheets.

"Mhm," Sebastian murmured, spreading his legs apart and clasping his hands behind his head. "Just...be a little bit gentle. It's been a really, really long time since I've done this."

"Yeah? Like...how long?" Kurt wasn't entirely sure why he wanted to know, but...

"I haven't been with anyone since...well...you. Since uhm...that whole thing in the coffee shop. "

"Oh." Kurt tried to add that up in his head, and figured that that must be something like two months. From what he could tell about Sebastian, that was actually really, really impressive and in some strange way, really sweet. he smiled and brought his finger down, nervously pressing it against the tight pucker of Sebastian's hole.

"Wow," Kurt whispered as it fluttered against his finger. He rubbed around it, feeling more than a little amazed as he contemplated the fact that he was about to finger someone for the first time. It felt a little scary for some reason, he was sure he wouldn't hurt Sebastian, but...he wanted to do it right? If there was a right way to do this, anyway. He took a deep breath and slowly pushed a finger in, stopping when the muscle clenched down around it. Unsure if Sebastian was okay, he hesitated.

"Don't stop, just, just put it in," Sebastian begged.

Kurt sucked in a sharp breath, and pressed forward boldly,watching in amazement as Sebastian's body just swallowed him up. It was so tight, so  _hot,_ and Kurt couldn't wait to get his cock in there. Which he could do as soon as he finished getting Sebastian ready. He started to gently, slowly move his finger in and out, twisting it around until there wasn't as much resistance.

"More," Sebastian rasped, drawing his knees up and placing his feet wide on the bed. He was so exposed this way and Kurt's blood ran hot at the sight.

He pulled his finger out and added lubricant to a second finger, pushing them both back in a little harder and faster than he'd intended. Sebastian groaned and Kurt paused, opening his mouth to ask if Sebastian was okay.

Sebastian cut him off. "Don't you dare ask if I'm okay. I swear I'll tell you if I need you to stop. Just,  _fuck_ me. Spread me open so I can sit on your big, thick cock. I can't wait to have you inside of me, babe..."

"Oh God," Kurt breathed, a hot thrill running up his spine as Sebastian's words washed over him. At any other time, he might have found them ridiculous, like something out of a porno, but right now, in this context, it was unbearably arousing. After a few moments, he added a third finger without any prompting from Sebastian.

"Fuck,  _yes,"_ Sebastian purred. "Just like that, baby, just like that."

Kurt felt a rush of pride as he moved his fingers in and out, faster and faster, feeling Sebastian's body resist him less and less every time.

"Enough!" Sebastian gasped. "Want you in me, want you so bad, Kurt."

Kurt whined a little and flopped back onto the bed. "Please," he whispered as Sebastian reached for his cock, pumping it slowly. "No, don't, I...I'm already scared I'm gonna come too fast..."

Sebastian chuckled, but pulled his hand away and ripped the condom wrapper open with his teeth, placing it just over the tip of Kurt's cock. Strangely enough though, he let it rest there, not rolling it down like Kurt had expected him to.

"What are you-" Kurt started as Sebastian slithered down the bed, but his intent became absolutely clear as he gripped the base of Kurt's cock and bent his head down. "No way..." Kurt whispered, choking out a gasp as Sebastian rolled the condom on with his freaking  _mouth_ , a smile in his eyes as he watched Kurt stare at him in amazement. "You are amazing and that was seriously the hottest fucking thing I have ever seen in my life and oh my god," Kurt spluttered as Sebastian chuckled a little and dripped lube all over Kurt's cock.

"Are you sure you-"

Kurt rolled his eyes and cut him off with a huff. "Don't ask silly questions, Sebastian, of course I want my cock in your ass!"

Sebastian  _really l_ aughed at that and leaned down to kiss Kurt as he came forward on his knees, reaching behind him to place the tip of Kurt's dick at his wet, stretched hole. Kurt was pretty sure he forgot to breathe as Sebastian just took him in, hands wide over Kurt's chest as he lowered himself down onto Kurt's dick.

"Oh my  _god,"_ Kurt said finally, unable to convey how goddamn  _good_ this felt. It was beyond  _good_ to feel Sebastian, hot and tight and squeezing and fucking  **moving** on Kurt's cock. It was beyond him to describe how arousing the sight of Sebastian swirling and swiveling his hips as he moved on Kurt was. Kurt slid a hand up to Sebastian's thighs, feeling the muscles move as Sebastian rocked back and forth, up and down, his cock bouncing obscenely as he sped up the pace.

"Babe, you know you can move, right?" Sebastian panted as he laid himself across Kurt's chest, forearms supporting his weight.

"I didn't want to...to hurt you," Kurt breathed, staring into Sebastian's eyes.

Sebastian bent down, lips pressing teasingly against Kurt's earlobes. " _I can take it. Fuck me. I know you want to._ " There something about the way Sebastian spoke French that never failed to make Kurt's belly clench with desire. This time was no exception, and it snapped something inside of him.

He grabbed Sebastian's hips, changing the pace as he drew his knees up to plant his feet on the bed for more leverage, hips fucking up hard into Sebastian's body.

They were kissing sloppily, moaning into each other's mouths, little whines and gasps filling the room as they rocked together harder and faster until Sebastian nearly screamed, biting Kurt's lip a little.

"Right there, fuck, right there, baby" Sebastian panted.

Kurt tried to think about what he'd just done and Sebastian let out another choked gasp as Kurt repeated the move. He smirked internally-looks like he'd found Sebastian's prostate, and the change it made in Sebastian was  _hot._ He was even more desperate now, and it really didn't surprise Kurt when Sebastian pinned his wrists to the bed by his head and started to ride him so hard the bed was squeaking.

"Shit, Kurt, babe, you're gonna make me come, oh  _fuuuuuckkkk..."_ Sebastian slurred as he moved impossibly fast on Kurt's cock, stilling momentarily before his body spasmed and clenched while Sebastian rode out his orgasm. Seeing Sebastian lose control like that, feeling his ass squeeze around Kurt's cock and his come streak out over Kurt's stomach made Kurt want to explode. He gripped Sebastian's hips tightly, fucking up hard, chasing the orgasm that he knew was right there, and it was the blissed out expression on Sebastian's face, the clench of his ass as he continued to come down from his orgasm that made Kurt finally tip over into the edge and he was coming harder than he had in his whole life.

Sebastian collapsed on top of Kurt, both of them breathing heavily as they came down.

"Holy shit," was the first thing that came out of Kurt's mouth, and he turned beet red. He supposed that he should have said something more romantic and loving and was about to apologize until Sebastian burst out laughing. Kurt couldn't help but join in.

"Some romantic you are," Sebastian teased. "But I agree...holy shit, babe. That was...fucking incredible."

"Mhm," Kurt agreed, running a soothing hand down Sebastian's back, giving a little noise of protest when Sebastian lifted himself off and flopped down on the bed next to him. "You came without me touching you," he said, slightly amazed.

"Yeah," Sebastian panted. "Your cock is fucking incredible. I don't think I'm going to ever get over how fucking amazing that was."

Kurt turned to him, eyes sparkling. "I don't think I'll ever be over it, really."

Sebastian grinned. "That was  _mind blowing,_ but I gotta warn you, I've got a million more tricks up my sleeve."

Kurt rose an eyebrow. "Oh, yeah?"

Sebastian nodded, a loopy half grin stretching across his face. "I'm going to ruin you, Kurt Hummel. By the time I'm done with you no one will think you're innocent anymore."

"I was kind of hoping..." Kurt began hesitantly, "That you wouldn't want to be done with me? This is so backwards, but...uhm... _willyoubemyboyfriend?"_

"Of course," Sebastian said between kisses. "Of course I will."

 


	9. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's a wrap, folks!! I really loved writing this fic--it's my baby, and I really hope you liked it!

"Stop that. _"_ Kurt knew it had been a mistake to come to Dalton to study with Sebastian. He had to admit that he'd been looking forward to using Dalton's big beautiful library to study, but he damn sure hadn't expected to deal with Sebastian's socked foot climbing teasingly up his leg.

Sebastian looked over at him, all fake-innocence. "Stop doing what?"

Kurt glared at him, moving his leg so that Sebastian's foot slid away. Sebastian pouted, and Kurt went back to typing his history report.

A moment later, he felt it again. "Sebastian, if you don't stop that right now, I'm gonna...I'm..."

Sebastian rose an eyebrow, as he slid his foot higher, forcing Kurt's knees apart.

"Sebastian!" Kurt hissed. "Don't you dare- _oh!"_

Sebastian smirked and began sliding his foot up Kurt's thigh, and Kurt squeaked, hiding his face in his hands.

"I'm going to  _kill_ you," he whispered, pushing his chair backwards and moving himself out of Sebastian's reach.

Sebastian pouted. "Come on, Kurt, don't you think it would be hot?"

"...maybe, but not so much in the open?" His eyes slid to the tables filled with boys in blazers studying diligently.

"Oh? So does that mean you'd let me take you back into the stacks and jerk you off?"

Kurt's face flushed as he thought about it. "Maybe," he whispered. "But...not today. Today...let's go back to your dorm?" He smiled and ducked his head down-both of them knew precisely what Kurt was  _really_ saying.

Sebastian's eyes grew dark as he quickly packed his bag and Kurt did the same. They walked briskly out of the library, and Kurt let out an embarrassingly loud squeal as Sebastian reached down and squeezed his ass out of nowhere, just as they hit the front entrance.

"Sebastian, you, you...I  _hate_ you," Kurt said, pouting. He'd heard snickering as they'd made their way out into the hallway and was  _so_ glad he didn't go here anymore. Kurt wasn't really  _that_ mad, but he kind of enjoyed listening to Sebastian's groveling as they walked to his dorm room, so he let it continue, kind of flattered by just how hard Sebastian was trying to get Kurt to talk to him.

Once there were inside of Sebastian's room, Kurt flopped down onto the bed, not even taking his shoes off.

Sebastian was right there with him in a second's time, his arms wrapping around Kurt's unmoving body. "C'mon baby, don't be like this. You know you don't hate me, you loooove me," he said, nuzzling Kurt's cheek.

"Mhm," Kurt admitted, finally giving Sebastian a reprieve and melting into his arms. He looked up into Sebastian's eyes. "I do, I really do." he said sincerely.

Sebastian sucked in a sharp breath. "You do?"

Kurt felt his heart was beating so loud Sebastian could hear it. "Yes." He ran his fingers through Sebastian's hair, pressing a kiss to a forehead. "I love you, Sebastian."

Sebastian's silence was starting to freak Kurt out a little, but Sebastian had completely melted into his arms, holding him even tighter. Then Sebastian's breath hitched and Kurt started to feel wetness on his shoulder.

Kurt drew back. "Are you crying?"

"M'sorry," Sebastian mumbled, pulling away and wiping at his eyes with the back of his hand. "It's stupid, I just...no one has  _ever_ said that to me before," he whispered, his voice tiny and full of a pain that made Kurt's heart ache.

Kurt brushed the back of his knuckles over Sebastian's cheek. "Not even your family?" he asked softly.

Sebastian laughed bitterly. "Not really. They're not around. They never have been."

Kurt hovered over Sebastian, looking him straight in the eye. "Then I'll have to love you enough to make up for all of it."

"Kurt, shit,  _stop,_ you're going to make me cry again and I don't want that."

"Then what do you want?"

"To love you," Sebastian murmured.

Kurt smiled softly and sat up, moving his hands towards the buttons of his shirt.

"No," Sebastian said quickly.

"No?" Kurt's head was tilted in curiousity.

Sebastian pulled Kurt back down onto the bed. "I just...want to hold you. Just like this."

As he let himself be taken into Sebastian's arms, it occurred to Kurt that they had never done this before. Sure, they snuggled after sex, but they'd never ever just held each other for the sake of doing so. It felt so much more intimate, so much more private than when he let Sebastian inside of his body and they had mindblowing sex.

"You know what?" Sebastian said after a moment pulling back to look into Kurt's eyes.

"Mmm?" Kurt wondered what Sebastian had to say-it looked serious.

"We still have our shoes on," he said solemnly.

Kurt's eyes crinkled up at the corners and he laughed so hard he was shaking. "Well, it's not the declaration of affection I was expecting, but you're right, we'd be  _much_ more comfortable if our shoes came off."

Sebastian's eyes grew hot. "And maybe other things, too? I seem to recall us leaving the library so we could have sex."

"But I thought..."

Sebastian shrugged. "Just because I wanted to just be with you for a moment doesn't mean my sex drive went six feet under. Get your pants off, Hummel."

"You need to stop being so rude to me," Kurt teased as he started to unbutton his shirt.

"Oh, yeah? What are you gonna do about it? You didn't seem to have too many bright ideas earlier."

Kurt leaned in, his lips brushing Sebastian's earlobe. "Oh, but I have one now. I think you need to be put in your place."

Sebastian's breath hitched. "And just how exactly do you plan to do that?"

"Well," Kurt purred, "I think that hot little ass needs a spanking."

"Oh my god, I love you," Sebastian blurted. "I mean, you're so, surprising, and hot and amazing and I don't know...ugh..." Sebastian groaned and covered his face with his hands.

Kurt scoffed. "Are you kidding me?" he said, faux-angry. "I threaten to spank you and  _now_ you tell me you love me? You're a real piece of work."

Although his face was still a little red, Sebastian was smiling, and Kurt knew Sebastian understood he wasn't really mad at all. "I mean...it wasn't the most romantic thing, I'll give you that, but I meant it, I swear. I love you. And you love the fact that I'm ridiculous. Everyone loves everybody. So can we fuck now?"

Kurt sighed heavily, giggling a little inspite of of himself. "You're incorrigible. But yes, I'll forgive it if I get to fuck you this time."

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "It's not like we have to take turns or something. But fine, I guess I can live with that."

"Please," Kurt shot back. "We both know that you  _love_ my cock in your ass."

Sebastian shrugged. "Whatever. Just like you love it when I call you baby."

"Nuh-uh," Kurt said, embarrassed. He'd always thought nicknames were stupid, but...somehow it was totally okay when Sebastian said it.

"I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree,  _babe._ "

"Fine," Kurt huffed. "Now shut up and turn over so I can fuck you."

Sebastian grinned, flipping over quickly. "Gladly."

_The End_

**Author's Note:**

> http://glee-kink-meme.livejournal.com/26585.html?thread=30211545#t30211545


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